hi.sorry for my bad english beacause it’s not my first language.
i’m from turkey .i’m 21 years old male and i am(was?) university student .i have AD/HD(focus problem) and serve social anxiety. ihave gone to doctors here they gave me some drugs like fluxetin and propranol and some others but all of them were useless.also my doctor told me nealy all of my problems are from fear from soicety.
i came to this site about 3 month age searching about suicide and now i’m some kind of addicted to it. i check it every day and i don’t know why!!
all of my life i […]
July 2012
I will try to be brief, Tomorrow I go to work to be fired. I will lose everything, my house, wife and son because like many we live paycheck to paycheck. I am old 59 and no one will hire me at this age. I continue to ruin my life and have done so at times. Each time I reach some level of success, I find some way to mess up. Well in the end when all the stuff hits the fan – I will have lost again. I am thinking about ending it. Your comments are appreciated
Old Man J
Hi,
I am a 21 year old girl
I used to be happy…
I used to never suffer from migraines…
This is effecting every part of my life making me want to give up…
If I choose to kill myself to stop the pain…
Which medication Is the quickest ??
Ot if any body suffers from migraines please talk
I am responsible for how I treat my body. I can choose NOT to self-injure. Then are other ways to feel safe.
Have you ever felt the need to slit your wrists, to let all the feelings of guilt and depression out and then sew yourself up just to feel happy again?
I just want to be free.
I’m just trying to keep it together.
Sometimes, I look for scars on peoples wrists. Maybe we could be alike.
Don’t think. Don’t fucking think, because when you think you realise how fucked up everything really is. You realise you don’t know how you got where you are, you don’t know where […]
I know that what I’m about to write is pretty horrible and that not many people on this site have gone through it (or at least I hope not), but I would really appreciate the opinions and help from anyone willing to give it.
Short version is that last year I was raped and nearly gang raped and since then I just haven’t been the same. I mean I was pretty messed up from some other stuff, but that was the even that completely changed me. Some of my friends and family already know about it all (not from my mouth), but I really want to […]
Really, what happened? It used to be much better last year, people commented and chatted more and all that, what penned?
Hey 2012!!!! whatch”cha gonna do this year!! *Drowing in pain of a thrashed n’ torn heart*
Ok so hey evyrbody what’s up?
So sorry i haven’t posted in almost 2 years and in some ways i am glad i ‘am still here.For the record i’ve tryed to kill myself several times so far in my life and i am still here so yea you can make in through some depressing times but< i don’t want anybody to try it as many times as i have so far but propley won’t try again……..we’ll mabe for a long time.i still think about it 24.7 but do what i can to advoid thouses thoughts.
I’am 21 now.so yes i drink now and go to bars.my 21st […]
So yeah, it’s been quite a while since i last posted here, almost a year i think. Still alive.
Mum found out about my addiction ’cause i told her, she was helpful the first 2 days but then she just starting yelling at me and threatening me and shit, that’s what i fucking need when i try and quit pills and when i have so much anxiety i’m shaking, along with some depression. fucking great.
can’t find a job either, so that’s fun
EDIT: a couple or a few weeks ago i was almost kidnapped, then the next week i got beat up, this week i […]
I’ll start from the beginning. I had a close, dear friend basically called him my brother. Xain, he was always there for me through thick and thin and would fight tooth and nail to keep me happy. He fell in love with me(this isn’t the root of the story) and I told him how i felt but kept him as a friend none the less and let him flirt how he wants. He was wiccan and openly gay, as a christian who was raised to love all I judged him not. He was adopted from Ireland when his druggie of a mother had him hooked […]
it’s me who is my enemy.
me who beats me up.
me who makes the monsters.
me who strips my confidence.
underage high schooler living with  a clinically depress/paranoid mom.
everynight around 11pm-8am my mom would have these urges to freak out/cry/yell. the things I hear is that everyone treated her like crap. she would look in the mirror and yell at herself how she gotten so ugly as a person. the “freak outs” have been going on for a year. it’s getting financially and emotionalbad worst. let’s say, if tmrw I loose everything I own I won’t be surprise. I’ve been clinically depress since the 7th/8th grade. so far I’ve attempted suicide twice. ended up in the hospital and depression center both times. seriously I think […]
This feeling of emptiness is swallowing me whole. My depression is getting worse and now the thoughts are taking hold in my mind, they are forming ideas and shaping into reality.
I hate these feelings. I see suicide as a relief. Something that would take the pressure out from my stupid life and give me a sense of comfort. I want to be relieved. I want to disappear. I want to die.
Ok this is weird, i ended up here after doing some searching on the net and was just drawn here. I’m old so maybe im out of place here, heart is bad and having more problems, health has really gone down hill alot this year. I have kids that are adults out doing there own thing, they could care less about anything except themselves. I’m just tired, tired of being tired, i want to just take a handful of sleeping pills and jump on the bike and go for a ride and go out of this life doing what i love the most, taking the […]
(warning, may be a little too real for some)
7 years ago
you were taken away, i was scrreaming, crying…
5 years ago
my first visit to you, i had to be pulled out and taken to a mental hospital. at 8 years old.
2 years ago
i went to visit again…you saw my cuts, and silently cried. i walked out.
1 year ago
i wrote a letter to you…the gaurds dident give it to you.
3 months ago
i promised to write you.
1 month ago
i joined sp, giving up all hope.
10 minutes ago
i stARted writing this.
now
i hope to end it. now.
*goodnight*
Hi my name is faith I’m 16. I’m depressed and have conteplated suicide many times, but never went through with it. I’m depressed I cut myself.I’m probally every teenager.I get depressed all of the time. My first insident of cutting myself was when I was 12. My friends did it so I though I was ok. I would do it in the middle of class and was never seen. Or if I was nobody cared enough to say anything. That just made it worse. My friends saw me do it infront of them and never tried to help me. I’m now 16 and I do […]
On the plus side, I did finally purchase the second shotgun needed for the exit. On the bad side, I seem to have talked myself into going back and “trying one more time.”
It is incredibly stressful to wake up and realize that today’s the day you promised yourself you would kill yourself. By the middle of the day, you’ve talked yourself out of it…again…and convinced yourself that there’s too many people who love you to go out now without trying one more time.
I’d like to think that knowing that there are two loaded shotguns waiting at home with its name on them would convince my […]
I really don’t know how to cope right now.
I’m going to have to get a medical withdrawal from my calculus class because I can’t pass it. Â Making this summer a waste, and leaving me with nothing to do until August when the fall semester starts. Â I feel like the new medication I’m on is making me anxious and easily tearful- once I start crying, it’s so hard to stop. Â I feel like I’m almost always on the verge of tears. Â Smoking weed has been the only thing that has ever helped, even in the slightest, but since I’m trying to get a job, I can’t […]
I can’t say i haven’t tried i am currently being treated for depression i self harm unfortunately i don’t blog this kind of thing to the world but now as i write this i’m thinking of where to i go from here and whats my next step in life to be honest im not entirely sure myself doesn’t it seem worth it when i think about it all there is is getting a job marriage , then divorce kids and die anyways . I’m not sure about living a life that means that . i’m thinking of suicide but i cant bare to see my […]
My girlfriend is leaving for camp right now, for a week, with no communication and without me. I’d love to go with her – I tried to, but my parents lagged signing me up for the camp, until finally we missed the deadline.
My parents keep telling me, “It’s only a week – you two spend too much time together anyway, you’ll survive,” but that doesn’t stop me from crying. I love her, and I miss her. We rely on each other to take care of each other, since both of our lives are overwhelming shitpiles. Just the thought of a week with absolutely no communication with her kills me inside.
I know she’ll come […]
Well this ain’t no sideshow
This is the great unknown
This is the poison we take
Yeah
Outside the velvet rope
Standing there all alone
Are the grotesque and ashamed
Yeah
Well if you think real beauty’s on the outside
Well that’s a far cry
From the truth
Maybe all the information you received
Well you should not believe
There’s no proof
Save yourself from all the lies of the beautiful people
It’s time to run from the lies of the beautiful people
I feel so traumatized
Doped up and televised
Life can be cruel and insane
Yeah
But we’ve got these ugly scars
On our infected hearts
Maybe it’s time […]