My first post

Hi my name is faith I’m 16. I’m depressed and have conteplated suicide many times, but never went through with it. I’m depressed I cut myself.I’m probally every teenager.I get depressed all of the time. My first insident of cutting myself was when I was 12. My friends did it so I though I was ok. I would do it in the middle of class and was never seen. Or if I was nobody cared enough to say anything. That just made it worse. My friends saw me do it infront of them and never tried to help me. I’m now 16 and I do it way more. My legs are cover with scares as are my wrist. It hurts me more when I relize my friends know about it, but never even try to tell me to stop. A few months ago a kid had told me in class why don’t you just go cut yourself. He didn’t know that I already did so I held up my wrist and said I already do. You feel better? He said it was just for attention. Which it isn’t. I had to go through with living with my sister my mom on drugs and telling me she hated me and never wanted to see me again. A few weeks later another kid was joking around and said why don’t you just go kill yourself? He apoligized a few seconds later relizing what he had said. There was a kid sitting next to him and when the bel rang to go to the next class the kid sitting next to him. Said. I’m not kidding though you should go kill yourself. Stab your self or shoot yourself or something. The kid that had fisrt made the comment stood up for me and told the kid to shut up. I was almost in tears going to my next class cause I knew someone hated me so bad that they wanted me to die and they were laughing about it. He was serious to. I never told anyone about it besides my sister. She didn’t say much which hurt even more.I think I would have commited suicide by now if it wasn’t for my friend. She helps me get through it all. She told me if I ever killed myself she would to cuse I’m the only person she has. It makes me feel better knowing somebody needs me around. Somedays though it feels like one person is not enough though to keep me alive. I think everynight about how easy it would be to find a gun or knife. Maybe even a piece of rope and just finish myself off. How good of a person would I be though to kill my self and my best friend. I would be a murder. I don’t know if I’m doing this right so please take it easy on me for my first time.