I did last time I was on…now I’m just waiting for my “family” to sleep so nobody can “check up” on me and call 911. I feel like I would just make things worse if I tried to help anyone tonight.
We used to have devoted commentors but now people don’t want to comment because it can get ugly. The days of Dawg, Softsoul, Amakua, GoodGirl, Duke and many others are gone now those people got tired of the rude commentors and fights. I myself see many poor souls post go unoticed or judged. I try and comment…but theres only so much one can do. I know others are trying and i hope they keep it up so that we can save our sanctuary.
Oh an orangeish don’t worry any helpful comment helps…trust me.
@ orangish it doesn’t matter if your not good at it just make someone feel loved and accepted.
@ trappedinthought why would they call 911???
@ AtTheEnd well idk who those people are haha i joined yesterday, and we need to make a support team account and have multiple helpful people have the password and use it
Hm, I haven’t been on here in months, I think. The days blur together to me, so I can never remember how long it has been since I’ve been on site. I remember trying to write a post about 4 times during my “absence” and I just couldn’t get my feelings out right. I just decided to lurk a few minutes ago and read some posts. Must have esp or something since att mentioned my username, haha. One the first page I see at least 3 posts about how this site has changed. I agree. I’m really sick of it and all of the fighting. It’s not the same anymore. But a part of me thinks that maybe I’ve outgrown it. Maybe I’m not supposed to be here (on SP) anymore. Idk. I’m pretty depressed still myself, and for months now I’ve given up on trying to help others because I have no idea what to say most times. I don’t want to say all the usual platitudes. And when I have offered help or advice in the past it has gone mostly ignored or unwanted. Which is fine, no one has to take it, it just makes it seems pointless for me to say anything. I dunno. I just agree with the posts that say this place has changed and that a lot of them are going without at least one helpful comment.
GoodGirl waaaaaah i moss you in my life T.T ur supposed to tuck me in at night when im afraid of the dark ;-;
On a more serious note hello how are you? Any way we can keep in touch? :c
Yes the state of SP is a bit of a let down lately..but we’re holding it together. Why are you still depressed woman?!
The best way to deal with rude commentors and fights is to completely ignore them. It sounds simple… it really is. It works, too. Hone in on where you can help and push through the irrelevant stuff.
If people don’t respond, that doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you, though. They may well feel like they don’t know how to respond. Sometimes, that’s the best reaction you can get for that reason. They’re thinking.
@att; Yeah, I know, I’m sorry about that. I’ve been really slacking on tucking you in at night. I could do that tonight, and maybe a bed time story too? ha I miss you too. Yeah, sure we can keep in touch. I’ll give you my email: taylorrochelle2@gmail . com
Before you ask – I don’t have skype or texting or any of that crap. haha. I’m old, remember?
Why am I still depressed? I dunno, ’cause life sucks. haha. Ugh. It’s the same old shit. I have no direction. I can’t sleep. I get headaches often. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds which I’m not really taking. I just got a blood test done to see if I have diabetes or anything else causing my physical symptoms, which are probably just a culmination of stress and worry. Recently I’ve been trying to find out how the friends that ditched me are doing, and when I found out it just reminded me of why I dislike them. Still doesn’t make me feel any less alone. Probably why I came back here tonight. I feel lonely. So, how have you been doing? I’m glad to see you’re still around.
@orangish; You’re right. It’s best to ignore them… I just can never seem to manage that too well. hah. Actually, I’ve been trying to do that, because I did realize that there’s not point in arguing. I’ve been trying to put into practice the whole “let it go” thing. That’s the thing, sometimes I don’t know what’s irrelevant on here. I mean, not irrelevant, but I’ve become a little disillusioned with SP and I find it hard to tell who is in the most need of help, I guess. Yeah, they may not know how to respond. Part of my personality is taking extreme offense to being ignored.
I stayed on as a guest on suicide project for months before i sn’d up.i saw love in evri comment.i felt like i was being reached out to by this comments.i respectd the likes of dukeofmamalade,princess,rogueshadow etc,those guy were the gene of this family.i dnt knw wat to say abt the project now..most of the post re not even suicidal anymore.nd even the closest suicide post might jst get one comment like..hang in there buddy.or dont drop the soap.its kind of funny but i think SP is becoming depressing.no offence
Focus on specifics – there is no SP, there are only people. People like you, in most respects. The details are always different, but their awareness, their wants, their needs are generally the same. I have ADHD and when I’m not medicated, I do everything I can to stir up controversy – cause offense – because it fills the same need that meds take care of and I’m not even aware of it half the time. It’s also the reason I go driving around in hurricanes… but that’s another issue entirely. lol
A lot of folks probably have something similar going on, but they don’t have anything to mediate it. When you realize that’s basically what makes people seek controversy and conflict, it’s easier to ignore. They need to find healthier ways of managing that particular urge.
I’ll admit I probably have a benefit from the ADHD which makes it easier to ignore being ignored… I get distracted by shiny objects too easily. Stupid brain.
WELL GoodGirl i know how you feel. Im quite friendless lately… :/ um my life still sucks but im less depressed cuz of my dammed pills. Im sorry to hear you’re depressed. I think we were married once lol which means i gotta keep you happy. Ive been getting headaches and i have no direction either..i dont have much to do. When i was hospitalized they thought i had diabetes a messed up thyroid gland and a fucked up liver…they never got back to me about the liver. Please take your meds…they help sometimes and i hate seeing you suffer..And btw i did make an attempt finally. It was quite sad. And ahahahaha i pulled off a large scab about 3 inches long and one inch wide..the skin is super sensitive and hurts…sadly i enjoyed the pain. My older brother saw and went to get his med kit while i laughed maniacly but now he sanitized and put ointment and bandaged up my arm
haha, okay, well, I’ve become disillusioned with the people on here. I understand what you’re saying, though. I just haven’t felt like I have it in me to help out. I’ve been waiting to feel like I’m ready to start helping people here, I just haven’t yet. Hm, I get distracted easily, but I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD. Hey, you could always become a storm chaser. lol
Yeah, it helps to remember that most here are on a short fuse or really sensitive and when you have one place where so many that are feeling the same way gather, it can lead to them all butting heads.
Trust me, that urge to chase hurricanes is deadly…. last time I did it, I got plowed into by a tree. Destroyed three tires and left me driving around on rims to get home. My cousin had his glasses blown off his face (he went with me) and we found them the next day crumpled up in a ball.
Att, you attempted? :[ You have a dark sense of humor, haha. Scab picking is no fun. I don’t think you’re supposed to pick at ’em. I’m glad the meds are helping you a little bit. I don’t wanna see you depressed and suffering either. They never got back to you about your liver? hah. Hm, my doctor’s office hasn’t gotten back to me about my blood tests yet. Kinda pisses me off. Maybe no news is good news? Maybe they just want my money for my next visit. hahaha, yeah, we were married once. Or, I thought you just proposed to me and we never got married? I can’t remember. Did you get me drunk or something and we got hitched? Shouldn’t I know these things? lol ;p Why are you getting headaches? Is it from the pills? I’m kinda too lazy to take mine. I was gonna start up again and give them another chance. So maybe I will.
Yes i attempted :3 Oh and yeah i bled a bit but now im bandaged up. They love our money. Doctors live like kings off it? XD honestly my insurance company sent me reports of how much they spent on me for my hospitalizations..somehwere around 40k for all my stays :/ ahaha wedding? I never got you drunk i dont play dirty ;( and its not my meds..itt started like way after i started on them and you better take your meds.
Okay, well, don’t pick off any more scabs and laugh maniacally while doing so. Yes, they do love our money. 40k.. not really surprised. All of that shit is way too expensive. Good thing you have insurance, huh? Imagine if you didn’t and got stuck with an enormous bill like that. I didn’t think you got me drunk, just making sure, I forgot we got ‘married’. lol I was just wondering, I know they can cause headaches. Mine are probably purely from stress. And insomnia. ugh. Yeah, yeah – I’ll take my meds, mom.
I don’t have anymore. The maniacle laughing felt nice though. Yeah im glad i have insurance it saved me a lot! I cant go back though im turning legal soon then ill be locked up with adults ;( well hey take ur meds and dont whine! Oh and night
Hey, it’s Will Tickin. I haven’t ‘seen’ you in ages. And every time I do it’s when I’m headed to bed. I was wondering about you, though, Will. If you ever got help through a therapist or if you tried to attempt. I hope you didn’t do the latter.
What the hell do people like money so much for? It’s useless for kindling a fire, and it tastes horrible. People in Zimbabwe won’t even accept it because it’s so worthless. They have to cart the crap around in wheel-barrels and nobody wants it.
I’m getting that way…because the up time is getting less and the down time more. So little helps… I don’t feel like bothering with wasting money on a therapist. Idk…and I think mostly people that I don’t want to hurt or leave – and I’m afraid of what my actions will do to affect them. ( even though I keep telling myself I wont and how narcissistic of me to think I would ). I’m trying to stop myself from pushing people away, but that’s not working.
Orangish; money absolutely sucks, but you need it to live in this shit world. Unless you decide to live in the wilderness or something.
Will; it’s not narcissistic to think about how your suicide would impact your family and friends. You know better than us on here how it would affect them. And it’s wise to consider that. A therapist does cost money, yes. More so if you don’t have insurance, I’m sure. And some one them won’t be helpful, and some might very help you. Don’t you think it’s worth it to try at least? If it doesn’t work out, you can say that you tried, you gave it your best, but it just didn’t work. In my opinion, I don’t see what you have to lose by seeking help. No need to apologize for ‘babbling’. S’all good.
To be honest, there are posts on here that I just don’t think I can add anything valuable to. That’s not to say I don’t READ the posts; I try and read as many posts as I can. It’s just there are some I can’t relate to, and rather than come out with some sort of wishy-washy platitude to try and make the poster feel momentarily warm and fuzzy, I’d prefer to just absorb what they have to say and allow other more qualified folks to jump in.
Oh, I forgot to say how i’ve been, haha. Hm, I told att earlier, and I’m too tired to type it out again. So copy and paste it is.. Ugh. It’s the same old shit. I have no direction. I can’t sleep. I get headaches often. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds which I’m not really taking. I just got a blood test done to see if I have diabetes or anything else causing my physical symptoms, which are probably just a culmination of stress and worry. Recently I’ve been trying to find out how the friends that ditched me are doing, and when I found out it just reminded me of why I dislike them. Still doesn’t make me feel any less alone. Probably why I came back here tonight. I feel lonely.
Just lonely and sad and isolated as ever. I did forget to say that my doc suggested I see a psychologist.
Still…I wish I didn’t affect them then. It would be easier I guess…I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t say that. As for the therapist well that requires me to tell people. And to be honest I can barely talk about how I feel and what I’m thinking to ANYONE. I don’t think a therapist would really benefit me and in fact cause more problems. Cause it’s not just “Okay, later.” it’s more “Shit, well now maybe I’ll have a doctor to bother me. My family and possibly friends will know and bother me. ” etc… I don’t know anymore. Still…sorry. You sure??
Sorry, well glad you just copy and pasta’d. 🙁 Sounds rather familiar…though I hope you can find the right direction for you soon. That’s no good. Why aren’t you taken the meds eh? Yea, I’m sure the stress and worrying doesn’t help with how you’re physically feeling…so why not take the anti anxiety meds to maybe help? Hm, well maybe we can switch – since I’m apparently trying to push people away and you want them around. I’m sorry…but you’re not alone, okay? Do you plan on seeing that psychologist?
Sure of what, that it’s all good? haha, yeah. I didn’t think that you were babbling, and even if you were or thought you were, it wouldn’t bother me. It may be easier for people not to care about you dying, but it’s not that way and it’s never going to be that way. So you have to accept that fact. ‘Cause it is a fact. Am I right? It’s normal to wish that it wouldn’t affect them. So you don’t like being asked questions? Or getting attention drawn to yourself… being in the spotlight, so to speak? Are you afraid to talk about your problems to people because you don’t want to be judged by them? haha, pasta’d. I’m not taking the meds because they didn’t seem to be helping, and I’m lazy too. The anti-anxiety was supposed to be something to help me sleep, as I was directed to take it before bed time, and it didn’t even work. It was a little bit calming – it just didn’t help me sleep like I thought it would. My doctor must have thought I can’t sleep because I’m anxious, but that’s not always the case. I just can’t frigging sleep sometimes. lol, having people around is good in theory, but when they’re really around I decide I don’t want them there. I was thinking about seeing a psychologist. But for one of the same reasons as you – it costs money that I don’t really have. But I am considering it. Thanks, Will. I do feel a lot less alone tonight. I’m tired now though, sorry to leave, but I need to hit the hay. I’ll come back tomorrow to reply to your reply. ha
I’ve been first lurking, then posting, then commenting here quite a lot…I can’t say I’d noticed many rude commenters, there are way more nice, genuine and helpful ones…
I know I wasn’t around before and am a newbie, but I really appreciate SP for what it’s worth.
Generally – people here are more here to at minimum, to tell their “story” and to discusss … “help” is kind of a happy side effect of those discussion … but his site is not and never has been a place o necessarily come specifically FOR help – it’s not the main objective … that said, i happens that a lot of “help” can be found here … but I find that in many instances, the people asking for the “help” actually reject he help that is offered … and that becomes demoralizing to those who offer the help … and what the “askers” tend to often forget that the “helpers” are usually here looking for answers and help themselves … so when the helpers get rejected or ignored by the askers, the helpers are often burdened with not only their original issues, but also the overwhelming feeling that they have nothing of value to offer or they are just failures at helping as well.
fun fun – demanding that we ‘helpers” “step up” doesn’t really give the helpers the overwhelming feeling of good will or appreciation … and the site’s paging bug doesn’t help either. besides … I bet if you searched the site, you will probably find 8-10 different answers to your issues since I don’t really see too many “new” reasons for suicidal depression … chances are a similar situation has already been presented and addressed by some pretty knowledgeable and experienced people.
nothing personal – just saying what has been stewing in my mind long before this post was posted
The bug isn’t hard to fix at all … and I bet the administrator console has an “on/off” switch to disable it … but any competent programmer could fix it by lunchtime.
but what do I know, i’m just a stupid old suicidal …
Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m in the same boat. I’ve fixed problems like this before that weren’t admin settings, but coding issues. WP is kind of annoying to work with, though.
I am interested to see the replies people give to others posts, not just mine. However, I often see posts, and the poster does not come back to see what was written..it’s just a rant, and ‘I’m outta here’…it’s kind of funny to me.
Seems people just want to vent and sound off but not take the steps to apply, and appreciate the thoughtful replies. People’s compassion on here blows me away..it’s beautiful.
I’ve offered the best of my own experience and I don’t know if people are ready to apply it, or if it doesn’t work for them but I will offer the formula that has kept me afloat.
For childhood, abuse, dysfunctional issues. John Bradshaw ‘Homecoming’ on youtube. Brilliant info that dispels all the myths and untruths so as to circumvent the hurt & confusion buried inside.
Law of Attraction. Focusing on our problems is not the answer but deciding you want to feeling good, committing to that intention, & practicing your mind in a more positive direction. But you have to want it. Death to me, does not exist…this world is designed to keep us in fear & keep us from our Divine heritage. Being in a human body is part of the process of learning and life is a test, and a game. Find a life coach, we don’t therapists to tell us what’s wrong with us, we need people to help us realize how fantastic we are, & build on that. Our parents were often not parented well enough to reflect the love that every human needs to be nurtured with, every moment of our lives. All the best! Cheers!
@Softsoul
I see your point but even if you come from parents that gave you good lessons on loving yourself and stuff everyone gas a breaking point. Recently when my issues reached a new l my mom broke down crying calling herself a failure parent saying my older brother was a failed college student and that i had my “problem”. In that same conversation my mom who has always been a strong person (emotionaly) admitted that when her and my dad split up and she was left as a stay at home mom with two kids and no money. The dark side if that was that she considered killing us and even planned to poison us and herself. What I’m trying to sat is that..even learning how to be hapt and positive..we all have our breaking points..some of us will make it and some wont..lol i lost my train of thought
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I try.
Don’t think I’m too good at it, though.
I did last time I was on…now I’m just waiting for my “family” to sleep so nobody can “check up” on me and call 911. I feel like I would just make things worse if I tried to help anyone tonight.
We used to have devoted commentors but now people don’t want to comment because it can get ugly. The days of Dawg, Softsoul, Amakua, GoodGirl, Duke and many others are gone now those people got tired of the rude commentors and fights. I myself see many poor souls post go unoticed or judged. I try and comment…but theres only so much one can do. I know others are trying and i hope they keep it up so that we can save our sanctuary.
Oh an orangeish don’t worry any helpful comment helps…trust me.
@ orangish it doesn’t matter if your not good at it just make someone feel loved and accepted.
@ trappedinthought why would they call 911???
@ AtTheEnd well idk who those people are haha i joined yesterday, and we need to make a support team account and have multiple helpful people have the password and use it
Hm, I haven’t been on here in months, I think. The days blur together to me, so I can never remember how long it has been since I’ve been on site. I remember trying to write a post about 4 times during my “absence” and I just couldn’t get my feelings out right. I just decided to lurk a few minutes ago and read some posts. Must have esp or something since att mentioned my username, haha. One the first page I see at least 3 posts about how this site has changed. I agree. I’m really sick of it and all of the fighting. It’s not the same anymore. But a part of me thinks that maybe I’ve outgrown it. Maybe I’m not supposed to be here (on SP) anymore. Idk. I’m pretty depressed still myself, and for months now I’ve given up on trying to help others because I have no idea what to say most times. I don’t want to say all the usual platitudes. And when I have offered help or advice in the past it has gone mostly ignored or unwanted. Which is fine, no one has to take it, it just makes it seems pointless for me to say anything. I dunno. I just agree with the posts that say this place has changed and that a lot of them are going without at least one helpful comment.
@ DipSpit I’ll let you guess, let’s just say that I spent today trying to say goodbye to alot of people
GoodGirl waaaaaah i moss you in my life T.T ur supposed to tuck me in at night when im afraid of the dark ;-;
On a more serious note hello how are you? Any way we can keep in touch? :c
Yes the state of SP is a bit of a let down lately..but we’re holding it together. Why are you still depressed woman?!
The best way to deal with rude commentors and fights is to completely ignore them. It sounds simple… it really is. It works, too. Hone in on where you can help and push through the irrelevant stuff.
If people don’t respond, that doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you, though. They may well feel like they don’t know how to respond. Sometimes, that’s the best reaction you can get for that reason. They’re thinking.
If people don’t respond to your comments* yikes… sorry.
@att; Yeah, I know, I’m sorry about that. I’ve been really slacking on tucking you in at night. I could do that tonight, and maybe a bed time story too? ha I miss you too. Yeah, sure we can keep in touch. I’ll give you my email: taylorrochelle2@gmail . com
Before you ask – I don’t have skype or texting or any of that crap. haha. I’m old, remember?
Why am I still depressed? I dunno, ’cause life sucks. haha. Ugh. It’s the same old shit. I have no direction. I can’t sleep. I get headaches often. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds which I’m not really taking. I just got a blood test done to see if I have diabetes or anything else causing my physical symptoms, which are probably just a culmination of stress and worry. Recently I’ve been trying to find out how the friends that ditched me are doing, and when I found out it just reminded me of why I dislike them. Still doesn’t make me feel any less alone. Probably why I came back here tonight. I feel lonely. So, how have you been doing? I’m glad to see you’re still around.
@orangish; You’re right. It’s best to ignore them… I just can never seem to manage that too well. hah. Actually, I’ve been trying to do that, because I did realize that there’s not point in arguing. I’ve been trying to put into practice the whole “let it go” thing. That’s the thing, sometimes I don’t know what’s irrelevant on here. I mean, not irrelevant, but I’ve become a little disillusioned with SP and I find it hard to tell who is in the most need of help, I guess. Yeah, they may not know how to respond. Part of my personality is taking extreme offense to being ignored.
guys really did no one see trappedinthoughts post?!? really?!
I stayed on as a guest on suicide project for months before i sn’d up.i saw love in evri comment.i felt like i was being reached out to by this comments.i respectd the likes of dukeofmamalade,princess,rogueshadow etc,those guy were the gene of this family.i dnt knw wat to say abt the project now..most of the post re not even suicidal anymore.nd even the closest suicide post might jst get one comment like..hang in there buddy.or dont drop the soap.its kind of funny but i think SP is becoming depressing.no offence
anyone want me to make an account for all of us to comment and help ppl with?
i wanna be a moderater id ban the shit out of the assholes on here >:D
Focus on specifics – there is no SP, there are only people. People like you, in most respects. The details are always different, but their awareness, their wants, their needs are generally the same. I have ADHD and when I’m not medicated, I do everything I can to stir up controversy – cause offense – because it fills the same need that meds take care of and I’m not even aware of it half the time. It’s also the reason I go driving around in hurricanes… but that’s another issue entirely. lol
A lot of folks probably have something similar going on, but they don’t have anything to mediate it. When you realize that’s basically what makes people seek controversy and conflict, it’s easier to ignore. They need to find healthier ways of managing that particular urge.
I’ll admit I probably have a benefit from the ADHD which makes it easier to ignore being ignored… I get distracted by shiny objects too easily. Stupid brain.
The 1 thing i dont understand is y arnt people as nice, caring and supportive as they once were…
I always will be. and text me too
Orangish text me 850-632-0697 and that coment made me lol
I gots no phone :/
Surprised I still have internet, to be honest… lol
WELL GoodGirl i know how you feel. Im quite friendless lately… :/ um my life still sucks but im less depressed cuz of my dammed pills. Im sorry to hear you’re depressed. I think we were married once lol which means i gotta keep you happy. Ive been getting headaches and i have no direction either..i dont have much to do. When i was hospitalized they thought i had diabetes a messed up thyroid gland and a fucked up liver…they never got back to me about the liver. Please take your meds…they help sometimes and i hate seeing you suffer..And btw i did make an attempt finally. It was quite sad. And ahahahaha i pulled off a large scab about 3 inches long and one inch wide..the skin is super sensitive and hurts…sadly i enjoyed the pain. My older brother saw and went to get his med kit while i laughed maniacly but now he sanitized and put ointment and bandaged up my arm
Mm how bout u txt me 1-780-818-6516
haha, okay, well, I’ve become disillusioned with the people on here. I understand what you’re saying, though. I just haven’t felt like I have it in me to help out. I’ve been waiting to feel like I’m ready to start helping people here, I just haven’t yet. Hm, I get distracted easily, but I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD. Hey, you could always become a storm chaser. lol
Yeah, it helps to remember that most here are on a short fuse or really sensitive and when you have one place where so many that are feeling the same way gather, it can lead to them all butting heads.
Oh damn people hamding out digits!
Trust me, that urge to chase hurricanes is deadly…. last time I did it, I got plowed into by a tree. Destroyed three tires and left me driving around on rims to get home. My cousin had his glasses blown off his face (he went with me) and we found them the next day crumpled up in a ball.
Yeah…
Meds saved my life. lol
Ur not the only one AtTheEnd i literally lost almost all my friends
Att, you attempted? :[ You have a dark sense of humor, haha. Scab picking is no fun. I don’t think you’re supposed to pick at ’em. I’m glad the meds are helping you a little bit. I don’t wanna see you depressed and suffering either. They never got back to you about your liver? hah. Hm, my doctor’s office hasn’t gotten back to me about my blood tests yet. Kinda pisses me off. Maybe no news is good news? Maybe they just want my money for my next visit. hahaha, yeah, we were married once. Or, I thought you just proposed to me and we never got married? I can’t remember. Did you get me drunk or something and we got hitched? Shouldn’t I know these things? lol ;p Why are you getting headaches? Is it from the pills? I’m kinda too lazy to take mine. I was gonna start up again and give them another chance. So maybe I will.
Oh my god, orangish, stay on your meds, please. lol For yours and your cousins sake.
Yes i attempted :3 Oh and yeah i bled a bit but now im bandaged up. They love our money. Doctors live like kings off it? XD honestly my insurance company sent me reports of how much they spent on me for my hospitalizations..somehwere around 40k for all my stays :/ ahaha wedding? I never got you drunk i dont play dirty ;( and its not my meds..itt started like way after i started on them and you better take your meds.
Okay, well, don’t pick off any more scabs and laugh maniacally while doing so. Yes, they do love our money. 40k.. not really surprised. All of that shit is way too expensive. Good thing you have insurance, huh? Imagine if you didn’t and got stuck with an enormous bill like that. I didn’t think you got me drunk, just making sure, I forgot we got ‘married’. lol I was just wondering, I know they can cause headaches. Mine are probably purely from stress. And insomnia. ugh. Yeah, yeah – I’ll take my meds, mom.
I don’t have anymore. The maniacle laughing felt nice though. Yeah im glad i have insurance it saved me a lot! I cant go back though im turning legal soon then ill be locked up with adults ;( well hey take ur meds and dont whine! Oh and night
After “helping” I eventually feel like I don’t help…no matter what people say.
and when you’re in a piss poor shitty mood ( like many when they come on here ), it becomes rather difficult.
Hey, it’s Will Tickin. I haven’t ‘seen’ you in ages. And every time I do it’s when I’m headed to bed. I was wondering about you, though, Will. If you ever got help through a therapist or if you tried to attempt. I hope you didn’t do the latter.
Neither… I’m afraid I’m getting close to the latter…
Neither… I’m afraid I’m getting close to the latter…
Look in admin panel at comments to actually read – wordpress is stupid
Yeah, this comment set up is weird. You sound really fed up, Will. So, if I may ask, what is stopping you from doing either?
What the hell do people like money so much for? It’s useless for kindling a fire, and it tastes horrible. People in Zimbabwe won’t even accept it because it’s so worthless. They have to cart the crap around in wheel-barrels and nobody wants it.
I’m getting that way…because the up time is getting less and the down time more. So little helps… I don’t feel like bothering with wasting money on a therapist. Idk…and I think mostly people that I don’t want to hurt or leave – and I’m afraid of what my actions will do to affect them. ( even though I keep telling myself I wont and how narcissistic of me to think I would ). I’m trying to stop myself from pushing people away, but that’s not working.
How have you been? Sorry I’ve been blabbing…
Orangish; money absolutely sucks, but you need it to live in this shit world. Unless you decide to live in the wilderness or something.
Will; it’s not narcissistic to think about how your suicide would impact your family and friends. You know better than us on here how it would affect them. And it’s wise to consider that. A therapist does cost money, yes. More so if you don’t have insurance, I’m sure. And some one them won’t be helpful, and some might very help you. Don’t you think it’s worth it to try at least? If it doesn’t work out, you can say that you tried, you gave it your best, but it just didn’t work. In my opinion, I don’t see what you have to lose by seeking help. No need to apologize for ‘babbling’. S’all good.
To be honest, there are posts on here that I just don’t think I can add anything valuable to. That’s not to say I don’t READ the posts; I try and read as many posts as I can. It’s just there are some I can’t relate to, and rather than come out with some sort of wishy-washy platitude to try and make the poster feel momentarily warm and fuzzy, I’d prefer to just absorb what they have to say and allow other more qualified folks to jump in.
Oh, I forgot to say how i’ve been, haha. Hm, I told att earlier, and I’m too tired to type it out again. So copy and paste it is.. Ugh. It’s the same old shit. I have no direction. I can’t sleep. I get headaches often. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds which I’m not really taking. I just got a blood test done to see if I have diabetes or anything else causing my physical symptoms, which are probably just a culmination of stress and worry. Recently I’ve been trying to find out how the friends that ditched me are doing, and when I found out it just reminded me of why I dislike them. Still doesn’t make me feel any less alone. Probably why I came back here tonight. I feel lonely.
Just lonely and sad and isolated as ever. I did forget to say that my doc suggested I see a psychologist.
Still…I wish I didn’t affect them then. It would be easier I guess…I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t say that. As for the therapist well that requires me to tell people. And to be honest I can barely talk about how I feel and what I’m thinking to ANYONE. I don’t think a therapist would really benefit me and in fact cause more problems. Cause it’s not just “Okay, later.” it’s more “Shit, well now maybe I’ll have a doctor to bother me. My family and possibly friends will know and bother me. ” etc… I don’t know anymore. Still…sorry. You sure??
Sorry, well glad you just copy and pasta’d. 🙁 Sounds rather familiar…though I hope you can find the right direction for you soon. That’s no good. Why aren’t you taken the meds eh? Yea, I’m sure the stress and worrying doesn’t help with how you’re physically feeling…so why not take the anti anxiety meds to maybe help? Hm, well maybe we can switch – since I’m apparently trying to push people away and you want them around. I’m sorry…but you’re not alone, okay? Do you plan on seeing that psychologist?
Sure of what, that it’s all good? haha, yeah. I didn’t think that you were babbling, and even if you were or thought you were, it wouldn’t bother me. It may be easier for people not to care about you dying, but it’s not that way and it’s never going to be that way. So you have to accept that fact. ‘Cause it is a fact. Am I right? It’s normal to wish that it wouldn’t affect them. So you don’t like being asked questions? Or getting attention drawn to yourself… being in the spotlight, so to speak? Are you afraid to talk about your problems to people because you don’t want to be judged by them? haha, pasta’d. I’m not taking the meds because they didn’t seem to be helping, and I’m lazy too. The anti-anxiety was supposed to be something to help me sleep, as I was directed to take it before bed time, and it didn’t even work. It was a little bit calming – it just didn’t help me sleep like I thought it would. My doctor must have thought I can’t sleep because I’m anxious, but that’s not always the case. I just can’t frigging sleep sometimes. lol, having people around is good in theory, but when they’re really around I decide I don’t want them there. I was thinking about seeing a psychologist. But for one of the same reasons as you – it costs money that I don’t really have. But I am considering it. Thanks, Will. I do feel a lot less alone tonight. I’m tired now though, sorry to leave, but I need to hit the hay. I’ll come back tomorrow to reply to your reply. ha
I’ve been first lurking, then posting, then commenting here quite a lot…I can’t say I’d noticed many rude commenters, there are way more nice, genuine and helpful ones…
I know I wasn’t around before and am a newbie, but I really appreciate SP for what it’s worth.
Zx
Generally – people here are more here to at minimum, to tell their “story” and to discusss … “help” is kind of a happy side effect of those discussion … but his site is not and never has been a place o necessarily come specifically FOR help – it’s not the main objective … that said, i happens that a lot of “help” can be found here … but I find that in many instances, the people asking for the “help” actually reject he help that is offered … and that becomes demoralizing to those who offer the help … and what the “askers” tend to often forget that the “helpers” are usually here looking for answers and help themselves … so when the helpers get rejected or ignored by the askers, the helpers are often burdened with not only their original issues, but also the overwhelming feeling that they have nothing of value to offer or they are just failures at helping as well.
fun fun – demanding that we ‘helpers” “step up” doesn’t really give the helpers the overwhelming feeling of good will or appreciation … and the site’s paging bug doesn’t help either. besides … I bet if you searched the site, you will probably find 8-10 different answers to your issues since I don’t really see too many “new” reasons for suicidal depression … chances are a similar situation has already been presented and addressed by some pretty knowledgeable and experienced people.
nothing personal – just saying what has been stewing in my mind long before this post was posted
clarificationally pained dawg
That bug shouldn’t be very hard to fix.
The bug isn’t hard to fix at all … and I bet the administrator console has an “on/off” switch to disable it … but any competent programmer could fix it by lunchtime.
but what do I know, i’m just a stupid old suicidal …
dawg
Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m in the same boat. I’ve fixed problems like this before that weren’t admin settings, but coding issues. WP is kind of annoying to work with, though.
Thanks AtTheEnd, thanks for the props.
I am interested to see the replies people give to others posts, not just mine. However, I often see posts, and the poster does not come back to see what was written..it’s just a rant, and ‘I’m outta here’…it’s kind of funny to me.
Seems people just want to vent and sound off but not take the steps to apply, and appreciate the thoughtful replies. People’s compassion on here blows me away..it’s beautiful.
I’ve offered the best of my own experience and I don’t know if people are ready to apply it, or if it doesn’t work for them but I will offer the formula that has kept me afloat.
For childhood, abuse, dysfunctional issues. John Bradshaw ‘Homecoming’ on youtube. Brilliant info that dispels all the myths and untruths so as to circumvent the hurt & confusion buried inside.
Law of Attraction. Focusing on our problems is not the answer but deciding you want to feeling good, committing to that intention, & practicing your mind in a more positive direction. But you have to want it. Death to me, does not exist…this world is designed to keep us in fear & keep us from our Divine heritage. Being in a human body is part of the process of learning and life is a test, and a game. Find a life coach, we don’t therapists to tell us what’s wrong with us, we need people to help us realize how fantastic we are, & build on that. Our parents were often not parented well enough to reflect the love that every human needs to be nurtured with, every moment of our lives. All the best! Cheers!
@Softsoul
I see your point but even if you come from parents that gave you good lessons on loving yourself and stuff everyone gas a breaking point. Recently when my issues reached a new l my mom broke down crying calling herself a failure parent saying my older brother was a failed college student and that i had my “problem”. In that same conversation my mom who has always been a strong person (emotionaly) admitted that when her and my dad split up and she was left as a stay at home mom with two kids and no money. The dark side if that was that she considered killing us and even planned to poison us and herself. What I’m trying to sat is that..even learning how to be hapt and positive..we all have our breaking points..some of us will make it and some wont..lol i lost my train of thought