I was dating the most amazing girl I could ever have dreamed of for a year. We used to call things ama-zing and that’s how I always referred to her. We had been good friends for a while before we started dating and I always had a crush on her. I never thought that she would actually go out with me, so I never tried. One day she confronted me and told me how she felt and I was so confused. I completely blew it and acted like I didn’t feel the same way. About 8 months later I finally got the courage to tell her how I really felt and to apologize for shooting her down. We started dating and I fell absolutely in love with her more than anyone before. We started talking about marriage and kids and we even had names for all four kids that we wanted. I was so ready to marry this girl, but we wanted to wait at least a year.
She recently left me a few days after my birthday and our 1 year, 1 month anniversary. She refuses to even talk to me and let me let her go so I can move on and insists that I just get over it. It hurts me so much because I still want everything I had planned on having with her. I still want the life that made me happy. Right now I’m so lost because she refuses to speak. I bought her some stuffed animals throughout our relationship and she always referred to them as her babies. Two of them are giraffe Pillow Pets and the other one is a little baby giraffe. I asked her for a picture of them so I can have something to remember them by and she absolutely refused. I invested so much of my life into her and I just want to move on but I feel like she is doing everything in her power to keep me following and bleeding. I am absolutely powerless when it comes to her and I just want my mind to let her go like she let me go. The only end I can find right now is to end myself. I’m in so much pain and I want my life to go back to normal.
10 comments
She is in a different place, people move apart or one may meet someone else without us knowing it. When one says its over its over.
Guess what, billions of humans go thru the same situation, been there done that. I’ve been the one to break off relationships also.
After my last wife I was crushed, 15 years later its all good in that respect, don’t miss her, don’t think about what could have been.
Your just tearing yourself apart, man up and move on. It will take some time yet you’ll be fine.
I believe those are the most hurtful pains we have to endure in life. It gets 2 of you to make a relationship and if she doesn’t feel the same for you anymore, you just have to let her go.
The alternative could be a bitter divorce in the future, so just try to be happy for the good things that happened, learn lessons and go on. But I know it’s not easy. I just hope it takes the least time possible for the pain to recede and you can move on. At least it took only 1 year, so you did not lose that much time, as longer relationships usually takes longer to heal (it took almost 2 years for me to heal from the loss of my previous 6-year relationship)
What bothers me more than anything about this relationship is that she said she still had feelings for me when she left. She told me that she loved me and she was sorry if I was hurt. The hurt she was referencing was the fact that she was cutting me out like cancer and refused to even talk about what happened. It literally hit me from one day things being perfectly fine to three days later her saying we were over. I’ve never had trouble moving on from a relationship like this one.
She’s a radical girl, I suppose. Keep trying to talk to her, but for now, don’t try to get back with her. If you want to get over her, it will take time, but sometimes it takes something a little different. Maybe you could suggest to her to be friends. It may not even be a good friendship, but maybe offer to her that you can be the friend who bitches about people with her and won’t tell anyone. But you do have to try by yourself. If you can’t move on, it’ll destroy your life. How long has it been since this happened?
It’s been about a week. And all I want is friendship from her. I understand her choice to move on but it’s the shutting me out that’s killing me. I just don’t get it after we have know each other since way before we even dated. At first, she was being friendly after it and acting like we would be friends and then the next day she said we would never talk again. It has switched like this a couple times.
Well, let’s try a week without trying to talk to her. Then, when you’re ready, contact her. Ask her how she’s been and little talk like that. Whatever you do… don’t say ‘I really miss you’. Say it in a different way. Like… ‘we haven’t hung out in a while. what are you up to?’ If you want just friendship, you need to talk like that’s all you want. Even if it means going into the ‘friendzone’. Girls sometimes pretend that all their ex’s want is to get back together with them. You’re going to have to try and make it clear to her that you don’t want that. It’s… weird. Girls are weird. I admit it for my gender. We’re weird. We’re bipolar and vary with the mood.
She has another self admitted problem with mood swings. She has chronic migraines and they cause her to be extremely hostile some times. So I never know when I’m gonna get accepted and talked to or yelled at and attacked. I have no problem being “friendzoned” and that is actually what I am trying to work towards with her. That’s where I was before and I loved her as a friend. And I think that may be the problem. We were extremely close friends. People would have thought we were dating way before we even were. When she left she told me that she loved me and I think it’s the reason she doesn’t want friendship. I think the love is the only thing left of our relationship and she knows it isn’t enough for her, but it’s too much to be friends.
Ohhh… i see… It’s that kind of problem. That is very sensitive to deal with. The first step is really to just talk to each other, for sure not face to face. When she’s a good mood, you two, BOTH OF YOU, need to just open up. Set things straight. If after all of this she still thinks it’s too much, try to negotiate to being chat friends online and people who wave at each other in real life. If that still doesn’t work, just try every now and then. Not everyday, that may come off as desperate. But still, start stuff out with regular talk. How was your day? Did you hear about… blah blah… When a girl feels there’s too much love for friendship, it just means that she does need some time. But it doesn’t mean you can cease all communication with her. Take baby steps. It’s good you’re shooting for the friendzone.
i had kind of the same thing except i am girl and was dating a guy and we were always on and off but he did the same broke it off after almost two years and kept everything i gave him and never spoke a word and we spoke about marriage and kids and everything it was horrible when i lost him. stay strong it may get better but a little pain will always be there to be a let down and i know the pain.
I think I’m gonna make it through it without too much trouble now. Finding this site and being able to share my story with other people has already made it a lot easier. Before I felt so alone because I couldn’t tell anybody I knew all of my thoughts and feelings and everything her and I had gone through.