Today I went to school as normal, but instead of going to psychology, I had to go to do a chemistry prac I missed out on earlier in the week (worth 25% of my grade). Everything was fine until the teacher (not my usual one) started screaming at everyone. For the first time (in a school environment) my PSTD started to kick in and I started getting flashbacks of when my ex would scream at me before hitting me. I started having an anxiety attack, and before I knew it, everything was blurry and I was on the floor nearly crying. The teacher and assistant took me outside and the teacher kept crowding me saying “I’m sorry! Please calm down! It’s okay!” which really didn’t help, but I knew he thought he was, so I tried to stop and eventually did. I ended up going back in and finishing the prac with no problems, but I could tell others were looking at me weird and the teacher was acting weird to suit me :/
Anyway in slightly better news, I told my boyfriend about SP and how I was coming here today. He accepted it, but I could tell he didn’t like it. When asked, he just said he didn’t like the idea of me talking to people I’ve never met because it’s dangerous and that there are douchebags who could try push me rather than help. I understand where he’s coming from and he’s probably right, but I really trust you guys and it’s easier for me to talk to strangers than burden friends. Plus it’s not like I’m giving out any crucial details, so I reckon it’s still good. I just hope I can convince him the same.
Anyway, that’s all for now
CPC