Don’t know how much longer I can take this

Last night just wasn’t a good night for me . I guess you could call it my first real attempt at suicide. Before I’ve only cut myself and have thoughts about suicide but last night I just went kinda crazy for no real reason. I guess it was mostly because I had my first day of school and my first day of cheer after two weeks of missed practices- needless to say I was stressed. I’ve nver taken more pills then I should but I’ve always thought of it as a way of suicide. So last night I took  20 pills- 8 Advil, 4 ibuprofen, 4 allergy tablets, and 4 acedamenophin. I felt pretty messed up but not in a bad way. I went to sleep around 11 and woke up at 6 with unbelievably excruciating pain in my chest and stomach area. I was so close too screaming because I kept tryin to take steady breathes but sometimes it would get hard to b reathe and I felt lik I would gasp for air. About 10-20 minutes later it went down inpainsome so Odell back asleep only to wake up agian to the same thing. I fell back asleep one last time then woke up agian and didn’t have much pain throughout the day. I don’t want to do it agian but I know I probably will at some point because I have no gun or any other way. If my life keeps going the way it is my only opdeath are death or  hospital/rehab. Iwant help so bad I hate feeling like this I just don’t know how’re to get it without looking like an attention whore or whatnot