im chicken

well im at that point where im havin trouble wanting to continue with this life ive thought about suicide before but never acted on it then i tried suicide by cop and that scared the shit out of me so i didnt follow through but i did get arrested and now things are really in the tubes and i have only one real option is to pull the trigger but im having troubl mustering up the courage to go through with it i know there wont be any pain ive planned how to do it i just cant pull the trigger any helpfull tips or thoughts like gettin really drunk first or maybe a timer or delay when i go to sleep or something please the helium bad method is a bit impractile for me as i dont know where to find the items or the money either