Why can’t I find a reason to live. Why is life so crappy for me. I just can’t seem to live a normal life. No matter how hard I try I just fail. No matter how hard I work I never seem to get anywhere but in debt not deeper in debt just in the state of debt not getting any traction either way, or so it seems. We live under an economic slavery model called capitalism. My spirit has been under siege for as long as I can remember. The world looks at people like some kind of commodity. I need to die I need to perish I need to end this miserable pointless existence some people call life. I am old tired and broken, Why can’t I freely make the choice to die? This world lets you make all the choices you want as long as those decisions keeps the individuals live, working, and paying into the system to keep the machine going and I do see the need in that. But, this machine is down for the count, I think. I do not feel as though I can go on any longer. I have no longer the desire or resolve to continue I cannot see the point. The logic leads me to death. I can do no more for my kids. The more I try with the boy the worst things seem to get. When you have nothing to offer your children in a material world aside from love then you suffer every time.There are no virtues raising capitalist kids in a world that enables people to want and be dissatisfied. Caring has a price and I can’t afford it in the world we live in..This is not a place of conscious
 I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.
He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light.
Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day.
It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassion’s fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.