Finally Proud…

I hate having to put on a happy face everyday, so my friends don’t worry… But I don’t know why I care because, it’s not like I fit in… I’ve never really fit in though, so… Every day I go home and I fight with my self, because I know that if I pick up the razor, I won’t be able to stop… These days, not even my girlfriend can make the pain and tightness in my chest go away… I even learnt how to make a noose the other day… It’s the first time I’ve been this proud of myself in about 6 years…