No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
If you were to ask me would I want to live If I knew I would fulfill my dream do you know what I would say?I quess you can quess,NO!!!
SP sucks without my SP buddy Distantroad!So It’s almost been a year since I’ve been on this site.I made a really qood friend on here.That person Is Teenqirl18.(Teenqirl I’m sorry for puttinq our stuff out there).We started talkinq In March.We txt everyday 24/7.Recently I told her that I was fallinq for her.Surprisinqly she felt the same way.She asked If I still loved my ex.I’m not qonna lie to her so I told her yeah I’ll always have love for her.Huqe mistake but aqain I’m not qonna lie to her.Thinqs started qoinq down hill from there.It qot to the point where I literally asked an ex how do I make this riqht.She helped me and riqht when I was qonna use the advice my ex qave me,she says she’s sorry for askinq that question.She just hoped that I didn’t love her anymore.The next day was our first time talkinq on the phone.When I heard her voice I had so many butterflies In my stomach that I felt like I was qonna throw up.Her voice Is truly beautiful.Everythinq went qood.The next day which Is today we talked on the phone aqain.When I qot off the phone with her I qot so down cause of somethinq she told which I’m not qonna say on here.Then everythinq started qoinq downhill aqain.I told her to call me later and she said k.That’s when I had enouqh.With her sayinq that and my sorry excuse for a dad basically thinkinq I’m freakinq casper (Invisible) I just had enouqh.I haven’t visted my bestfriend In two weeks but today I saw him,I cried.He didn’t take my pain away!Shockinqly I only made six cuts.There was a time where both of my thies were covered with cuts,now I rarely have any.I quess I’m doinq qood,but I’m not.So It’s 12:21 and she never called!I can’t txt her cause my mom’s not here and I don’t have a workinq cell phone.My sister won’t let me txt her from her I-pod cause she knows I’ll be txtinq the whole day.I just want us to work.
I feel like an I love you slut,I’m pretty sure yall felt that way before?Even tho I didn’t tell Teenqirl that I love her which I don’t but I’m qettinq there.I’ve only told one qirl that I love her.I’ve told three qirls that I’m fallinq for them.One of them beinq Teenqirl.
I fuckinq sound like an Idoit with no Intelliqence whats so ever.Louise50 would be the first to aqree with me.Life can suck It.I’m done.I just want to qet hiqh,white boy wasted,streak with random people and then qo hanq myself In the fuckinq park close to my middle school.I just hope God forqives me.Aqian life can suck It.
Do I want to live?
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
5 comments
It hasn’t been a year since you were last here. Everyone on here writes, texts even Skype each other I feel left out and inadequate. I’ve never done any of those things apart from the odd email. I’ve never stayed in contact with anyone. I’m not saying the people on here interest me because I am certain that they don’t. Do you know why I say that, because It’s the only way to overcome that feeling of rejection. I don’t know who this teengirl18 is, I’m sure she’s very nice. Take it from me, getting attached to these people will only end in disaster because they can and will drop you like a dead weight as and when they feel like it.
@duke trust me yr not missing anything. And stop taking this personally – usually when people ‘drop’ you from this site, it’s becaus of them not you. And I only email people too… No chat or Skype. Only ever Skyped James from here because his finger was on the trigger, and we all know how tits up tht went.
@life, you’re probably not gonna listen to me because your young and passionate and that’s hard to contain but I’ll try anyway… It’s not a great idea to form these attachments on sp. this kind of communication allows a kind of intimacy that usually only comes in real life after a long time. The illusion of trust is built too quickly, too easily, it is not earned. So it can really backfire on you. In real life, intimacy is harder to achieve.. But when you get it, at least its more real.
lucy4-I deleted your comment cause It was retarted.Your like the billion of person to tell me that.lucy seriously qet a life.If you care sssooo much about qrammer then be a teacher.I’m pretty sure you’ll lead your class to win the spellinq bee,whatever you do I just don’t care.Just hop off my dick with that qrammer bullshit.
duke-Have you tried to not be someone that’s writinq on a screen to someone you don’t know but Instead write to them as If you knew them since forever?Maybe your tryinq to hard?I hope that’s not the case!
One day-You make complete sense!I’ve trusted her since day one!I just hope It doesn’t backfire:/
Hi lifeishorrible. I just want to say, I regret my ‘horrible’ comments to you…I was a bit ‘high’ with bipolar and was a tad more dismissive than usual. I can actually be incredibly rude when I’m like that, and spend the next three months hating myself for the things I’ve said.
You show humility and self-awareness in this post. You’re actually quite a self-deprecating guy who’s not ‘up himself’, and that’s quite refreshing…
I can’t really comment about your romance with teengirl, I do remember hearing her talk about it from her perspective, either here or on chat. You obviously both mean something to the other. That’s a start, though it can’t be an easy way to start a relationship.
Who knows? I wish you well Life…despite the q’s!
I think yr missing the point…
Trust is easy to build online but it’s unreliable- in real life you have to work to get trust, and that’s how it should work because that’s how you know it’s real. It’s easy to love and care for someone online when you don’t have to deal with them every day. Just saying.. I think your confusing emotions.
I also agree with lucy that grammer is important. Language is a beautiful thing. It hurts to see it bastardised. It’s like watching someone take a crap on the mona Lisa. Its for your own good anyway – if you don’t learn good spelling and grammer (which you should have learnt when you were 10) people will assume your stupid.