I haven’t been on here for a long time because I really needed sometime to think. Thank you for all your comments they were very inspiring and helpful. It seems like everyone on here could be my family even if my family doesn’t want me, I see that. But now I have something popping up and I don’t know how to deal with it. I have had abusive boyfriends, cheating boyfriends, ‘use and go’ boyfriends, and just to sum it all up ‘BAD BOYFRIENDS’. It’s my fault for having boyfriends at a young age, but that is what i turned to for comfort, boys. I have an ex-boyfriend who tries to get in my underwear, but he does care about my feelings he knows what I’ve been through. He helps me yet he lures me in. I fear that one day I might lose my virginity to him. If I do I don’t know how to explain it to my grandmother. She’ll degrade me for it. I’m trying so hard already for her trust and sensitivity. I’m trying to save myself for marriage also. What should I do? Give my all to Shane or give my all to my my grandmother?
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5 comments
Is he worth it? That’s the key question. Is it worth the degradement if he is just going to use you like all the others.
i honestly dont noe thats what im afraid of…
If you don’t know whether he’s worth it there are some other questions like do you love him? If you’re wanting to save yourself for marriage then i’m sure you’d only want to be with the one you loved. The question after that is would he respect your wish of waiting till marriage? If he does it shows that he does deserve you and you can decide what you want to do. If not then as said in the previous comment is it worth the degradement?
Take of yourself
Your comments are very supportive thank you very much.
The first step to discovering if you’re ready or not, is realizing that degradation has nothing to do with it. It doesn’t degrade you to have sex with someone. If you feel he has earned enough of your respect to take the obvious risks associated with intercourse, then that is your decision and your decision alone.
However…you must remember that this is an event that you’ll probably remember for years to come (quite possibly forever). It often makes us feel safe to think that the one who has feelings for us, will be there forever, but that’s very, very often, not the case. People change over time. Your parents aren’t who they were ten, twenty, thirty years ago, neither is your grandmother and in ten, twenty and thirty years from now, your boyfriend will be a different person also, and so will you.
I’m not saying your relationship is doomed. I’m saying that if you feel comfortable having sex with a guy that is not likely to be there forever, then you’re ready. If you would rather wait a little longer and see if he’s truly there for the future, what have you got to lose.
He’ll either wait until you’re ready to be married and you’ll have an immeasurable amount of love and respect for him, for making such an honest and valiant effort, or he will find someone else…in that case, it’s probably a good thing you didn’t have sex with him.