Today i have been released from hospital.After 2 weeks of hardship and suffering.I have a chronic heart disease that neither can be detected nor has a cure(i suppose).It sucks but i don’t worry about it.Iam worried about my mom and dad.I don’t want to make them sad.Huh….after all iam a loser.From childhood i was weird.weird in looks(i mean ugly),weird character,weird nature and weird attitude.I eat less,talk less,laugh less and blah blah……n a cry baby too.During my elementry school i had a very hard time in adjusting myself with others.I was afraid.Many of my seniors take the advantage of my attitude and used to tease me and even sometimes they ended up beating me.I feel embarassed when i remind all those days.Now back to hospital.I was checked with many weird machines.But non of them detect anything.It was all a waste of money.My dad must be feeling bad more than i do.My dad’s income is not much.we had to take loan for my treatment.my mom n dad expects me to recover very soon,which seem to be a phy theory to me.I know i will not recover.sometimes i think that suicide is the best option.A taste of cynide n all of the problems would be gone……It seems very easy to me n someday i would do it.I am tired of suffering,tired of failure(se the post failure son),tired of my fucking life….just a taste of cynide is the best option to attain peace….
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3 comments
Heart disease that cannot be detected or cured? Keep making shit up.
I had heart disease for over a decade no one could figure out. My heart was going nuts, but it also tested as otherwise normal. Turned out to be an issue with the signals going to the heart, and not the heart itself, but it took them decades of testing to come to that conclusion. Medicine is the practice of ruling things out. All this means is that they’ve ruled out some things, but haven’t found the cause yet. Sad, frustrating, but all too normal. Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.
Surfer…..u would know how i feel if u were in my place.This disease(maybe a genetical disorder i don’t know either) sucks.Ur body would go numb with pain eye sight begins to fade,eating is imposible n the worst is that u can’t properly sleep nor sit……but wat is the purpose of telling u all this….u go n fuck up yourself….i don’t care if anybody makes fun of me……@zel-Thanks dude i feel better when somebody understand my feelings.