Board with Life

I just don’t even care any more. everything stays the same. I wake up unhappy and hating myself. Then i look at all the cuts and scars on my body and just think to myself ” you deserve this”. Then for the rest of the day i put a fake smile on my face. I walk to my bus stop just like other kids do. I get to school and wait for first period to start. During the day i get called names and people stare at me and some people just act like im not even there. My first class is choir. It’s the only class i like, i actually have fun and get to relax. Then i go to two more 74 min classes. I go to lunch and listen to other people laugh and act like im having fun. Then i got to two more 74 min long classes. both are super boring by the way. Then i go to soccer practice. It is normally boring and by that time in my day i drop my smiley act and just show that im unhappy. Then i walk home. It’s not so bad but when i get home my dad is normally yelling at some one for something dumb and i get something to eat and go to my room. I just do a little homework. and watch TV.  I go to bed and sleep a little bit. Then the whole pointless routine starts again. It’s boring and pointless my life doesn’t mean anything to this world. I’m not even needed here. I have no impact on anyone so why does it matter if i die or live. The answer is it doesn’t. I don’t think that there has ever been a time i’ve wanted to die so bad.