On the 16th, Tuesday, I attempted to kill myself by overdosing on pills. By the time I was done taking what I had, I had taken approximately 60 pills. I woke up at 4am Wednesday morning puking my guts out. It felt crappy. Let’s be honest puking until; you have nothing left to puke up and then still puking anyways isn’t fun. I didn’t go to a doctor. I was pretty scared to tell my mom that I tried to kill myself so I just kept quiet and said I had the flu. I stayed home for the rest of the week then spent the weekend at my youth leaders’ house. It was nice to escape the drama for a weekend. I know that this week will suck. Everything is going back to normal, despite the fact that if I get headaches I have to deal in stead of taking an Advil. So things will get tough again and I’m not going to want to live in the world.
So what will I do about it? Try to end it again? Actually, no. I’m going to deal. And if thing’s get that bad where I’m not even satisfying myself anymore, then maybe I should just change what I don’t like. We have such a great advantage that we can do that.
So I guess I’m a survivor. Just keep keeping on, and you can be too.
6 comments
This is why I really don’t think pills are a good idea.
Besides the pain you had, you have probably done very serious long term damage to your body. Do you want to be a survivor or a thriver? You won’t be a thriver if your liver and kidneys are fucked in ten years.
jack has a point but i can’t really talk i have tried this method of suicide 3 times so im probably in the same boat.
Ummm….. Jack, People don’t think of long term damage to organs when they try to end their life. They just want it to be over.
SSRI’s won’t kill you even if you had like a bucket full, that’s why they give them out these days he way the body reacts to toxic things is to eject them from your body anyway, just the way the system does its job.
I envy your courage I tried to swallow all my pills last week and I couldn’t
For a start, you should lie down on your back and push gently all over your stomach, if you get any pain, please go and see your doctor.