I think that a way to kill myself which wouldn’t cause too much trauma for my family would be to let my road bike drift into the path of an oncoming semi-tractor/trailor.  Death would be virtually certain if I ride on a road with a high enough speed limit, and it would look like an accident instead of an intentional act. They wouldn’t have to suffer the stigma of having me kill myself. It would be neat and clean, and fortunately their financial security would be guaranteed.
For a moment the pain would be excruciating after getting run over by a truck, but that much pain would be purifying too. Hopefully death won’t come so soon that it will deprive me of the opportunity to relish suffering. When I was younger I had cancer. It was treated by extensive and what proved to be quite painful surgery. After being released from the hospital, I went through years of follow up treatments and tests. Pain became something that was reassuring. At least it could be counted on. I look forward to it again.
12 comments
You’d fuck up the trucker’s life and therefore their family’s and their friends too. Bad idea!
The trucker wouldn’t be at fault. It would be unavoidable from the trucker’s perspective.
Its ok to not let your family live with the stigma of you pulling a suicide, but its ok to let the truck driver live with the stigma of having accidentally murdered someone?
The truck driver would be the one that wants to go through suicide next then. Living life feeling worthless, not sleeping, crying every so often, believing he/she has murdered someone. Who knows, your family might actually go ahead and sue the guy too, believing it was avoidable.
Not to mention, what if it was not as clean as that, them being the responsible person they are try to swerve and accidentally hit other motorist in that highway, thus instead of killing you, killing other people.
Pain is something I welcome too. But to me, letting other people feel pain is not acceptable. Be it my family or strangers. I have caused enough pain for other people and myself, I don’t need to create things I can not take responsibility for. Let me carry this burden myself.
Sorry for lecturing you, but I want to be rid of my pain too. Just not at the expense of other people’s pain, again.
You’re going to damage the truck, too, if you choose to use this method. Semi’s aren’t impervious to dents. I hit a deer once, and a large dog another time. It was a bloody mess. The deer disintegrated into in to a bunch of bloody chunks, and the truck went to the body shop for a week. The final bill was almost $5 grand. Thankfully it was covered by insurance. It was still a huge hassle.
I actually had nightmares about that deer. I was haunted by the image of its bloody lifeless corpse strewn across the highway. I can’t imagine how horrible I’d feel if it had been some guy riding a bike.
Yes, it would damage the truck drivers life, and your families, but it would effect you mostly. You had cancer and you fought through it and endured the surgeries. You are strong and you don’t need to do this. If you are crying out for someone to stop you, here I am. Please, don’t do this, my friend was just recently hit by a train, and I’m telling you, ending your life, is not the rational or smart thing to do. I believe you can pull through this without killing yourself.
You have a valid point about the vehicle driver swerving to avoid a collision and perhaps injuring himself or herself or innocent bystander.
What if u drained the break fluid from the bike or whatever, found a dacent long road nd just fly doen it as fast as u can and ram it into a wall or something, it would look like u couldnt stop urself because ud no break fluid so not seen as suicide therefore avoiding that stigma nd also not damaging a truck (granted u might make shit of the wall or whatever)
I learned that a guy killed himself today by driving in front of a train. I wish it was me.
So you don’t have a car?
I do have a car…I love my sports car. One last ride would be a poignant end. I just found out that a close friend’s mom just died. I want it to be me.
I thought you wanted to be the guy driving in front of the train.
Just keep posting, the more I hear of you the more I know you are still here. That makes me happy. Thanks for being here.