Finally put the bag over my head and tied it. Closing my eyes and listening to my breathing get faster and faster. Felt nice actually. What made me take it off? My sister. She’s the first one home. The image of my innocent little sister walking in to me laying on the floor with a bag over my head. The thought of her being scarred with that image. I’m going to do it tonight. Not in my house, and not with a bag. Leaving a suicide letter for my mom to find. Since she’s the first one up. I’m still wondering how I went from happy to wanting to die. Lifes a game and I refuse to play.
7 comments
I guess your little sis is going miss you.
What about talking with someone who care and makes you feel a little better?
i’ve read a few of your posts, what about your little innocent sister, what about your dad, and what about everyone else. Are you going to let them suffer after you? I doubt you want this….please hold on.
PS: i like the way you write
I don’t want to tell my sister what I’m going through, so I guess me being in pain is my fault? I’m not sure. My dad though.. He has his own problems.. I don’t want to be an extra burden to him. I’d be where he is if I could. Sadly, right now I can’t be. I’m hoping I will be soon.
I don’t know how you got to say that your pain is your own fault. It’s not and you know that. I tried to say with my poor english that if you decide to end your life you would let your pain up on your loved ones, but you don’t want them to suffer. That’s why you should not give up, i know it’s hard but life’s never easy, right?
Also, you want to be where your dad is, good, that’s something you feel can change your life in better, so keep fighting for it. And don’t be so sure that you would be a burden for him. I don’t know his problems thus i can’t say anything about, but since he loves you, you could also make him feel better.
Honestly.. The only people I love would have to be my sister and dad. That’s about it. And my English teacher. Cause she’s cool. She listens to me complain.. And let’s me be myself.
I don’t know what you complain about but if she’s a nice person, use this opportunity you have, tell her everything you feel the need to say. She will understand, comfort you and give you good advices. 😉
I’m not really sure either what you mean with “let’s me be myself” but whatever as long as you stay alive….
Hm.. I don’t show my emotions. Around.. Everyone. In the inside, I’m obviously sad. Outside I’m happy. I fake smile.. Fake laugh.. And it sucks. I’m a fake. Only so I don’t get asked whats wrong. I hate that question. Frustrates me. Also, I complain about being sad, stressed, suicidal. Anything I can get off my chest really. Thanks for liking the way I write by the way.. Kinda made my day..