I’ve always been the strong one. The one who held others up when they couldn’t take it. I never wanted to burden others with my problems, so I tend to fake a smile and say I’m okay. I hate to be viewed as weak. It started when I was little — I was born to teenage parents who had a taste for methanphetamines. They did try to get clean when I was born, as well as three years later when my little brother came into the world. But their lifestyle caused me to take care of myself at an early age. A funny story I’ve […]
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Suicide Letter
So this is a suicide letter I wrote to my best friend (Leaving her unknown because I’m protecting her identity. So lets just call her Anne and call me Rose. And if I say “I love you”, its friend love.) because I was really thinking about it that day.
February 8 2014
Dear Anne,
I honestly do not want to say this one word that means so many things, but this is my goodbye. I love you so much and I know you’re hurting too, but please don’t make the same mistakes that I’m making. I don’t want you to turn up the same way that […]
WOOHOO! Finally, the one thing I have ALWAYS wanted is happening, and for real this time too! My parents are splitting up. I have been, mentally,emotionally, and even slightly physically abused but now it should be over right? Coz finally mum is going to save us from our so called “dad” errrerrrr. This is what happens when you expect to much from life. Life says wooah! Slow down there cowboy, I ain’t gonna let you off the hook that easily! Dad had officially gone crazy. If you’ve ever seen my posts then you will get a feel for how much a  phsycopath he is, but […]
It’s been so long since I’ve written. So glad to be back with my family. Have you ever just sought comfort from a stranger? I know I have.
A lot had happened.
Me and Brice (love of my life) went out…once again. He ended up not talking to me for 2 whole weeks. Then he said he never wanted to talk to me again. I once again wrote my suicide letter, thinking I had nothing more to live for. I think it was the 6th time. But anyways he eventually ended up talking to me again. We still talk. Everything is not solved and I’ve promised so […]
I finally wrote my suicide letter. It doesn’t say much. I don’t have that much to say, and even if I did no one would care. People don’t see me, people don’t know me. I don’t care anymore, I mostly feel sadness.
Just hoping for a miracle that would stop me from feeling like this.
Finally put the bag over my head and tied it. Closing my eyes and listening to my breathing get faster and faster. Felt nice actually. What made me take it off? My sister. She’s the first one home. The image of my innocent little sister walking in to me laying on the floor with a bag over my head. The thought of her being scarred with that image. I’m going to do it tonight. Not in my house, and not with a bag. Leaving a suicide letter for my mom to find. Since she’s the first one up. I’m still wondering how I went from […]
I wrote my suicide letter today. So sure that I’m ready to do it. I let out my loudest cry. I voiced it. Yet it went unheard. No one taking me seriously. Thinking it’s only for attention. I was embarrassed when I told them. Humiliating. Yet she stood there and said it’s my fault, and she thought it was only for attention. Left me in disgust. I like being unseen but when I ask for your help so that I can live happily I expect you to give a damn so I’m not suffering in freaking silence, going through each day asking myself what did […]
Hi. I’ve never really done this before. I’m a thirteen year old girl. I used to have these huge dreams of changing the world, being someone. I still do, but it’s harder to continue. I have nothing wrong with my life. I have a good home life, things at school are okay I guess, no one has it perfect. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about cutting and committing suicide. I feel like it would be so much easier. Sleeping with out dreams eternally. I don’t know why I want life to end so badly. Lately I’ve been in my room a […]
Im trying to write my final note – But i don’t wanna sound to boring and ” woah is me ” – so without further ado is an excerpt from my suicide letter –
I lost interest in everything , even music , Music was my everything , my comfort , my hobbies , my lifestyle , Even being a piano player for eight years you would think i would have come to love and cherish every moment i could play on my beloved piano- But i was ( excuse me – am) so broken , even my beloved music couldn’t […]
I’ve never written a suicide letter before, or maybe I have, they were surely times in my life when I should have.
But how to you even begin without sounding terribly clique’ and readable? I guess I’ll never know, because really you can’t know until you’re dead and everyone has read the letter. I hope mine gets stolen and passed around the local schools. I’ll write tons of terrible secrets I’ve kept inside about everyone I know and let my down fall create such conflict that they forget I’m even gone. Even in death I long to make suffering controllable.
But those are for later […]
So I found something of mines from about a year or two ago and I decided to put it up on here. Everyone puts up the troubles they’ve been through and I’d like to share what I’ve written back then and maybe when later on, if I make it through with life, I could look back to my posts. Anyways, this was made around 2010 or ’11. This was for my friend, who was also facing depression like me and we both promised we wouldn’t do anything horrible to each other. I felt like I failed her and that she wouldn’t ever forgive me, surprisingly […]
I just wrote an angry hate letter to basically the whole ‘class of 2012’ at my school that I will never send. It was supposed to make me feel better, but came out more like a suicide note so I don’t know what that indicates… I am quite pleased with the closing line, though:
“Just know that actions have consequences and you have managed to massively dent one person’s faith in humanity and that is unimaginably dangerous and now too late.”
Writing that letter did make me wonder who at that hell of a school would care if I went through with it, if this subconscious […]
kso i have my suicide letter ready but i cant go through with suicide. i cant. i dont want to leave my brother behind. he is alwasy with me. i cant even leave him for a night without feeling bad. but at the same time i want leave. i just dont know what to do.
I’m almost ready. ready for the pain to end, even if it takes more pain. I wrote a suicide letter a goodbye.I have problems if I killed myself i would be doing the world a favor one less messed up person for people to look at and wonder what I’m like. Who I am. Everyone judges people. And in this world that’s all I am to most people. I was  abused. It changes a person getting slapped for not eating. Getting kicked for crying. Getting my head slammed into a  wall because I couldn’t stop crying. It was like that every day . I have problems. They are clear to […]
Yesterday was Horrible! It marked an All Time Low for Me. I had never woke up and immediately wanted to die. I guess i didnt want to face reality yesterday. That was the 1st time that I actively reached out to someone for help. Its like I wanted to Kill myself but I kept finding reasons to live. From the time I woke up at 7am until around 11pm or midnight, I seriously battled those feelings. It was a Great fight, and the best thing is that I Won; I’m still here. To some, i just did the right thing,but they dont understand the chemical […]
I was 13 years old and about to finish up my 7th grade year. It was March 10, 2004 when my life changed forever. It was in the evening after dinner when my ma got the call. My sister was on the other line, sobbing and very hard to understand. She told her what had happened, as I sat back and wondered. I was way to young to understand what was going on. I had never experienced anything like that before in my life. My ma hung up the phone and said “I will be back.”
About 2 hours later, my ma shows up with my […]