I’m feeling good today.

After sitting in the bath with a razor blade in my. Thinking I should just do it. Just die. Just get it over with an leave. But then something stopped me. I thought what had led me up to this? What has been so bad that has led me to thinking that killing myself is the best answer. I sat in my bath for about two hours just thinking, and meditating. It doesn’t  have to be like this. I making it like this. I don’t have to be depressed I don’t have to constantly feel bad for myself and only think about my past. Yes the past did happen. Yes that is a part of my life. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have a future. Because I change it. If I just start focusing on the good, and Everything that’s beautiful in life. Start focusing on doing the things I love. Stop fearing the worst. Stop fearing my future because that hasn’t even happened  yet. If I could just focus on now. And make the best out of everything now. It can all be changed. i could be happy. it just takes a little effort. Everyone has potential they just need to live up to it. And now is my time to do just that. Right when I had been pushed to what I thought was the end, I picked myself up. I can do this. I’m not gonna let this depression take me over. I’m so much better than that. i don’t know where all this hope came from. But I’m so thankful it did.