Today is my best freinds birthday.
I couldn’t leave her alone on her birthday.
I have been thinking of suicide for So long, i was finally got the courage to do it.
But i thought, if i left my best friend, a day before her birthday.. she would kill herself to.
She is amazing.
I have just been going through such a hard time right now, and i honestly can’t live this lie anymore.
I’m so fucking scared to be happy. I’m scared of faking a smile. I’m scared to live. I’m scared to die. I’m scared to be alone.
I cut all the time. I rpomise people i have quit. But, aren’t promises meant to be broken? that’s what everyone says anyways..
I’m sick of feeling.
I would rather feel hurt then have no feelings at all, but it is killing me.
I’m not so sure if it’s killing me, or shaping who i will become.
If anyone will talk to me. I don’t think i should be alone, or text me just to make sure i’m okay, cause i don’t trust myself. And neither should anyone else.