im tired of this

i miss you so much. and i know i ruined our relationship. seeing you with someone else just kills me. it breaks me into pieces and i want to hold you again. i can’t live like this anymore. i miss school all the time. im weak and hopeless. and i only know the way out of this is to die. i don’t have the ability to do it myself. but i wish i did. i want to leave. im not strong enough to go through this pain and suffering.  i need to let go. i have no true friends. i have my family but thats it. i dissappoint my dad everyday by being a failure. my brothers nags at me about not going to school. my teachers give me cruel looks when i return from being absent. i need to leave and i cant keep going on like this.