I hate when people ask me if I’m okay, or how I’m feeling. The answer is so loaded and I’ve never been a good liar. So, I nod and say, “Fine,” because it’s such a basic answer that it has no meaning, anymore.
I hate waking up every morning to rush to a job I hate. And people say, “Well, just quit,” as though I don’t have loans and hospital bills waiting for me and whispering taunts when I try to sleep at night.
They say, “It get better,” but does it? I’m almost 30 and I’ve been dealing with this outcast, abnormal bullshit since I was 12. How long do I have to wait until it gets better?
Honestly, what is this life worth?
4 comments
Wow…I could have written this post word for word (I turn thirty in four days!). The only thing that keeps me going, including staying at the job I hate, is working toward the future. It’s kind of bad not to “live in the moment,” I know. But why don’t you make a plan? Go to school. Move to a new city. Even just start volunteering for a cause you care about. Take a writing class. Take a yoga class.
I feel just as you. People ask me if I’m doing ok and there’s so much wrong and as you do too, I hate lieing. I tell them I’m alright because it’s worthless to explain and I’d rather not waste my breath. I believe in this point in your life right now that you need to make some personal changes. Try making something out of your job or look for another one that may be suitable for you.(: Make some time for yourself. I know that I have school from 6 to 3 and work from 3:40 to 11 pm and I often get so rapped up into pleasing others. Make time for yourself to relax and think of where your next step should be to improving your life. I hope I help maybe a little or at least spark some ideas. I wish you the best of luck.(:
I’ve made several plans and I’ve failed at them all. I’m still trying, but trying only makes me more depressed…and frustrated and angry. One step forward, five steps back.
AgingFastDyingSlow,
Well I’m 56 and I can’t remember when I loved any job, oh sure I like this one better than that one, but loved “Nope†and I’ve made a lot of money however life has always been a struggle, that is what life is all about, unless you hit the Powerball last night? Learn to or enjoy the simple things in life, and yes just like everyone else that’s replied to you, your rant is right on the money. “THAT’S LIFE THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE SAY†ring any bells?