I’m writing more because I feel I didn’t express myself enough yesterday. In the beginning of ninth grade year I went to a performing arts school,I applied because I always wanted to follow my dreams of becoming a musician and to me applying to this school was my of feeling like somebody after being bullying made me feel inferior. Once I got there the people I saw were talented and confident and I just lost hope after that and classes weren’t as enjoyable because I kept thinking so negatively so I decided that I would drop the program to work on my skills and come back next semester but, I ended up feeling no interest in anything and spent nights crying myself to sleep ending up so down in the abyss I could hardly pull myself out no matter how much I tried.
Now I’m feeling empty and negative with it being nearly a month since my suicide plan and a nearly since I have started to feel like this and nothing has changed I’ve gone through the same cycle as last fall, nobody knows about my depression , and I don’t really have any friends. I don’t even remember what it’s like to feel “normal” and I may not understand this but at least right now I’m able to say how I feel here