Err, hi… the name Sam…
They said you can share your suicide story here…
Well, I tried before, when I was 16, because I was bullied,
The thing is, I got into famous boarding school and I can’t fit in,
so they ignored me, said bad things, send threatening letter,
and the rest, I don’t want to remember…
It was depressing, but I failed to commit suicide… and then I gave up.
Now I’m a University student, a law student precisely, first sem.
In 4 years I’ll graduate and become a qualified lawyer… I had a loving
family, my classmate were very kind too…boyfriend? nope… I am asexual,
that’s what I’ve been telling myself…
People around me would’ve thought how lucky I am, and there’re thousands
of people willing to take my place, but I’ve never felt happiness…
because the truth is, I wanted to be an artist… drawing anything
I want, let the imagination run wild… Not stuck with the legal document,
contractual act, or the constitutional provisions…
*sigh* If only my parent would support my dream… But they’re not to blame
It’s what’s the best for me, but the truth, despite all the good things happening
around me, it makes me more lonely than ever…
I wanted to share the best-est scene of the latest anime
I’ve been watching, the latest anime character I’ve drawn but
there’s no one care…
Because no matter how nice peoples are toward you, human
are created with different wavelength after all, so the more
different your wavelength with the people around you, the lonelier
you’ll felt… =’|
2 comments
Hey Sam,
Welcome to SP…I will be your unofficial welcoming committee. You are very welcome to post your story or any other thing you wish. I am glad that your attempt was unsuccessful…and that you are still here…I think you have a lot to offer the folks on this site…and hopefully we can offer you something as well. Are you glad you were unsuccessful? Just curious about your mindset…hahaha
I am an old woman and as such ummm…anime…not so much…but my 16 year old is way into it…and I believe is in an anime chat and blogs as well. So at least I know what it is eh? It is nice when your job and your passion are the same…but most of us do not get that luxury. But as I have told all my children…they can only make you put on a uniform for a certain number of hours every day…and during the rest of the time…do what you want to do….find your passion…become proficient at it…and maybe someday your passion will also pay the bills. Hey have you ever thought of Art therapy? We have a wonderful art therapist here named Christine…and my daughter had a lot of success with this sort of therapy…we are currently on the waiting list to go back to see her…fingers crossed.
I digress…welcome to SP…others will want to talk to you as well. Sometimes they connect with a post or feel they have something to offer…and comment. Feel free to read other posts as well in the meantime…comment on those you wish…create a new post if you want…ask a million questions. Just seems sometimes when you are busy trying to help another…you sometimes get an answer of your own.
Here to talk or listen
Peace
Amakua
Dear amakua,
Thank you so much for the response. Actually, I’m quite scared that that someone might bash me or criticize my grammar (English isn’t my language… ^^) Urm, yeah, sometimes I feel “thank god, I didn’t die” and sometimes “I don’t want to live anymore” but I guess life has it’s own up and down…
About the anime thing, I’ve decided to make my own comic. But right now, I still constructing the story line. Studying might’d been tough, but I’ve decided to be a qualified lawyer and a comic artist, The path seems hazy but I won’t give up. By the way, you have children? that’s cool. I’ve really wanted children as well. But, I’m afraid I to be betrayed by someone I love, so I stopped searching for partner… But maybe in the future, there’ll be someone…
Yes, I really wanted to save others. Maybe live is painful, but every human being has their own value no matter how insignificant they are. and I read in it one of my favourite manga, Those who try to commit suicide actually want someone to save them, it may be true… so If I can, I really wanted to save someone… 🙂