Sometimes I like to think that things can’t get worse, but then they always do. College is a miserable experience… I have no friends that can hold me together. My family is unsupportive of me ever since I decided not to be religious. I’m not even sure whether or not I’m going to be fired from my job. My car is now not running for the second time this month. And worst of all, my fiancé left me 5 months ago. I was sure this was the lowest point I could get to. And then tonight, the only friend that I had left to really talk to broke me down. I have worked so hard to keep her in my life, because she is so important to me. I love her, and she is a wonderful person. Right now, she seems really selfish to me. She seems like a liar and a cheap friend. But I know that’s just because she hurt me.
I tried to kill myself 2 years ago. I was unsuccessful, and went to a hospital to get help. Since then, I have struggled on and off with cutting, suicidal thoughts, and supreme depression. But even though I feel like my life couldn’t get any worse right now… I feel like I’m going to be ok. I guess it’s nice sometimes just to write.