A Survivor’s Lament

My neck still hurts
The mark is still there
The belt that I used
Is laying on the chair

The handle is broken
Ripped from the door
Determined to prolong
This unnecessary war

So close was my peace
So close was my end
But this life-saving handle
Played the part of a friend

A brush with death
To sober my mind
Ending all misconceptions
Of what I would find

I anxiously awaited
The slow fade to black
As the darkness engulfed me
It was too late to go back

But now I hold this piece of metal
Unsure of what to say
Thankless for what transpired
I didn’t want another day

So what is the purpose
What more can I give
When I choose to die
Why do I live