i wish there was a delete button built into us. I was a bad mom, a bad grandmom and a bad wife. This life is full of so much pain. I have withdrawn from it. I am sad when i wake up in the morning because i have to go through another day. I am 62 years old. I was abandoned as a child and i have lived my entire life not belonging anywhere. I feel like a spaceship landed and i got off on the wrong planet. I believe in Jesus and in heaven. I want to go now. whatever purpose this life has served, I’m done with it. Why do people fear death? At least we won’t hurt anymore and feel so guilty for being such a failure in life. Maybe as fertilizer I can be useful. I wish i had a delete button so i could just delete my self, my life, my history………my existence
3 comments
Bad grandmom. Cool. Your kid’s got kid’s. So there doing them. If they knew how you feel. They would help you. Prob just be in like busy. jod kids. There is no delete button .
I don’t discuss it with my kids. I don’t want to upset them. I help with the grandkids to the point where i feel like a nuisance. They are getting older though so i rarely get calls anymore. They gave me purpose. Do you know that the highest suicide rate is in people over 60? weird huh, when we are young we struggle with heartbreak and loneliness, well guess what, get old, attend all your friends funerals, be forgotten by your kids unless they need money, become a widow and well yuck……..i sit all day at home, looking at the walls, day in and day out, praying for sleep with the hope i won’t wake up. Don’t want to do it my self because my kids would hurt if i did that. i feel like the proverbial hamster in a wheel………the wheel is still spinning….but the hamster in it , is dead, sorry to sound so sad
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Anyway, if you find you can’t do anything to fix your life and you want to stick around, then do everything you can for other people. In istelf it might give you value.