The whole reason why I was suicidal in the first place was because I felt like a disappointment/failure to myself and my family…
Today on Christmas I got my ACT score back and it was the same score I had before. My applications are due so I can’t take the test again. I tried my best to get a better score and not getting it really made me feel bad, but what made me feel like shit was when my parents were blatantly ashamed of my score as well. They basically wanted to keep it a secret.They were afraid of others finding out. The thing is it wasn’t a bad score. It just wasn’t what they wanted. I saw complete disappointment in my parents eyes especially my mom’s. My brother was the only one who saw how my feelings were getting hurt and tried to make my parent’s understand what they were doing to me. They make me feel like a failure and I get stressed by the fact that I’ll never be perfect the way they want me to be. Sometimes I’m okay with it, but other times I can’t stand it. I can’t handle it. To top it off my mom was upset about how I wasn’t speaking to her in a nice tone after that. That just emphasizes how she doesn’t know me. I almost cried from how awful I felt for failing them and at the same time mad that they didn’t understand that I tried.
Can’t they just accept that I maybe average instead of exceptional like they want me to be? Can’t they just except I’m not perfect?
2 comments
hey don’t worry about the ACT score. any college is a good college. just study what you like and don’t worry about how much money you will make.
education that breeds competitiveness and ambition makes a person go crazy.
i am an ivy league graduate and feel depressed because i am finding it too hard to get a girlfriend.
i feel like i am from a different planet.
you sound like a good person look the only one that has to except your not perfect is you and get over it,you say you feel you did well enough so…. that’s good enough let them know that’s all you care about,and feel good about it,unless your going out for a nobel prize!