My hanging is still a plan. When I will go through with it is undecided. It will not be now. I have too much to do for the holidays, and things that i must deal with and take care of.
I have an ex that i need to deal with when the new semester starts in a few weeks.
I NEED to deal with that before i can leave this earth.
The hardest part though will be hurting my mother… She is the only thing that will hold me here.. ( ill write about her later if your curious)
But i am not worrying about that now, because for now i am alive, and i am going to go through the days the best i can. do what i need to do. ( ill write about what all i need to do later too)
I will post much more tomorrow night after i wrap christmas presents!
Goodnight SP
1 comment
I’m impressed, Abselom, that you are able to get yourself motivated enough to do anything at all about the holidays. Perhaps you have kids and that’s why. Isn’t amazing how much strength we can sometimes pull together?
Please say more about your mother. My own mother and just plain being chicken are the only things stopping me, at this point, and being chicken is something I can conquer. How do you plan to deal with the fact of your mother in your head? I think it’s an interesting and difficult question–what is our obligation to living family members who, if they haven’t been completely benign and helpful, maybe at least haven’t been horrible to us either. How long can you stay alive for someone else??