my last chance

Let me start by saying I’ve always had strong thoughts about ending my life I never thought i was good at anything especially life. Around middle school I started to realize how much I liked girls(I’m a female). I live in a everybody knows everybody town and for obvious reason kept it to myself. 7th grade was my first attempt but a sibling walked in and I was rushed to the hospital. Okay fast foward about high school I still had that idk why I’m here feeling but then I met sky she was stayed in California and me Texas we talked for hours everyday she made me feel so comfortable in my skin like no other person had ever made me feel I loved her more than life so she sorta became that my life my everything. we’ve been together 4 years now every relationship has its ups and down but this time things aren’t the same were finally meeting the in and I can’t take it. She made my boring fatherless loveless life worth it. I really stop trying to kill myself for her but now she leaving and I can feel myself slipping I thought maybe if I found a way to vent it would help the pain…..