Um, hi. I suppose I should just go ahead since this is what this site is for. I feel like my depression is constantly worsening. Life keeps looking less and less appealing and I’m not sure what to feel. I’d like very much to die. I’ve actually resolved to end it when I’m 35 or so. Â That way my family won’t have completely wasted their money and maybe I can find something to interest me. I have no interest in starting a family, but as stupid as it sounds I adore the idea of finding a woman that I love. Unfortunately, that conflicts with my desire to not stay in this world for very long. I also feel more and more like our world is just too oppressive for someone like me to survive in. Â Life tastes bland and I feel trapped. Death sounds enticing, but I’m worried that that might affect my friends and family.
Sorry for rambling, but I probably needed to say this. Thanks.
7 comments
The idea of finding a woman you love is not a stupid idea at all. Everyone wants to be loved by someone. Try doing something crazy to make your life exciting if at all possible do something that is so crazy it scares you to do it(something positive not something harmful).
I guess to put a little perspective on this I’m 16, so that might limit the crazy options a tad.
You sound very sane. You are going through depression and growing pains. I understand your lack of interest in the frivolous follies of this world. I too wanted to find a man to share my life with (I’m a woman), but was not very interested in having children.
Hopefully, getting your inner thoughts out, and knowing you are heard, will help. But if it gets worse, please get professional help to make it through this time in your life.
You’ve got a good head on your shoulders and you think clearly.
You’re not alone thinking that “world is too oppressive for someone like me to survive”
The world is quite hateful place after all.
Of course it will affect your friends and family. And of course you can do something crazy good way crazy even when you are just 16. Like there’s internet and ali. And you should stick around still. Its admirable that you want to stay until you’re 35. I think it means you want to be here after all. I dont have any goal of so many years. I thought I’ll just make it to 20. So.
I dont know exactly what I’m blattering here, probably nothing helpful but just imagine all the places you still want yo see, things to try and all.
It’s good that you are aware of your feelings and not get swayed by it. Depression is a tough thing to have. It sucks the color out of everything. I know. But there will always be better days. Just hope for better days. You’ll see. There will be a crack of light in your darkness somewhere. I’m still hoping for it for me too. So you’re not alone. 🙂
You sound like a really strong person, and your head is definitely on straight (is that a saying? I have no clue) BUT ANYWAY.
Do something crazy, like the other commentators have said. Sky-dive, bungee jump, something like that. Take a break and explore new places that you’ve always wanted to go.
I’m not sure about your family situations, amount of friends and all that, since you haven’t mentioned it, but we’ll be here for you no matter what. Life is hard, it’s tough, that’s true. But there are also good parts to life – beautiful parts, and you just need to surround yourself by all the things that you love (e.g. music? reading? drawing?) and stay strong. Your life is valuable, and it WILL get better. There’s always a storm before the calm, and rain before the rainbow. Remember that. (:
Thanks everyone. This means a lot.
For those curious about the family and friend situation, it’s good. It’s actually part of what bothers me. I have a good life, friends, relatives who love me, and I’m sorta spoiled. I don’t have any reason to wish for death, but I keep find myself hoping to leave this world. Maybe it’s just me being selfish?