Ranting and raving

hey guys, have you ever been made aware that you were going to lose someone and the person you were going to lose didnt want to talk about it or didnt want you to help them?almost like they wanted to die, just give up and die. and you cant really talk to anyone but that one person. and because they dont want to talk about it ect. you bottle it up inside, and its like a wounded dragon who cant lick its wounds. so eventually it lashes out to make people feel or aware of what your feeling, and of course you look like an asshole, because they dont know the reasons behind the actions. and even though the actions are unjustifiable you still get angry, which if you lash out again you might lose this said person sooner. you bottle that up. so now your at the breaking point, and you know it. and ontop of all the emotional permoil you have a girl(or guy) your pouring your heart out to, that says they have the same feelings back, but you have paranoia, so youer always worrying that there faking it or being dishonest. and because of your home life you really cant talk to this person as much as you want to, so that hurt/angers you. and on top of all THAT your depressed/suicidal, do to your home life, and all things said above, and your past and other unsaid events. which just leads to one big pissed or ball of rage that wants to hurt its self and others and then die. when you got that all put together, you have shattered glass. now if you add some stuff or take some stuff away. you have the suicide project. hehe im a genius >.<

so now i realize we are the most loveable cheerful bunch in the whole world.