What I really want

I was making a presentation today for a job interview and I came to the conclusion that I don’t really care about it. It doesn’t matter if I have the best job in the world, or if im smarter than anyone else. If im alone then I am the loser in the end.

So I am going to organize my life around the correct priorities. So no more games. they just numb the pain of being alone. This site is kind of doing the same. I spend a lot of time here and I guess its probably not the best thing for me. I should be going places and doing things. Which is very difficult for me, but I have to try. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

Im done with the lies and the pretending. I called an old friend and explained some things, it was difficult but I had to do it, to move forward I have to walk through the fire. If I don’t I will be like this forever.

Sorry if this makes no sense, i’m just trying to give a voice to my new conviction. I’m going to keep my head up.

Forward or nothingness.

I have not given up, I still believe in love. Maybe that makes me childish or naive. I don’t care. I feel better when I’m looking for someone to love than when I’m sitting alone doing nothing.

Sorry again, just another SP rant.

ILU

Ruins