Hi, my name is Liz. I don’t know how to start talking about my feelings, it seems like they haven’t been around for a while, The thing is, I turned 20 and realised that a whole moment in my life was skipped. Now, everything is basically wake up, go to college, go to work and sleep. It’s like the world no longer exist and I’m a machine. I’ve tried to get into society, to be around other people, but I just didn’t fit. It seems like everything is controlled by a biological rule, you need to have a good appearance so you will have the right to get someone who gives a damn about you. And unfortunately, that’s not my case. Somehow, things don’t make sense anymore. I used to take care of myself and recover from this terrible moment because I was quite empty, but recently…it’s like something is crushing me inside and I can’t get over it. I’ve always been alone, but this time, it’s hard to face it. I’ve been thinking of suicide so often that it’s scaring me. Seems like all that I need is courage to finally end it. And I’m almost there. I wish I could be back to emptiness, when feelings didn’t matter. Sorry, but I just wanted to share. It took a while until I had the nerve to come and say that. Am I going crazy?
5 comments
No, your just really fucking desperate, just like me.
I think about suicide every day, even when I’m smiling.
My life IS BEING skipped and I can’t do a thing about it, because of similiar reasons such as yours. I want to end it, but I’m to weak to even do that. And so I’m trapped, with so much pain and anger. Mostly PAIN.
Hey Liz, i just want you to know that first of all i care about you and you aren’t alone in this okay? and i’d be happy to talk if you’d had me. I know what you’re going through, it all feels like a blur to me too. just get up. school. sleep. samething over again the next day. and youre right. the way people are now-a-days, if you dont have a smoking body youre out and it isnt fair. theres some people that are even average, weight but society still underminds them and its not right. then theres the guys/girls who only want to be with you if you look like a super model. its not right. im sorry. like i said im here. shoot me an email and we can talk from there or i can give you my number if youre in the US okay? i dont think anyone should feel alone, and believe me, you’re not. you are most definitely not going crazy, and please dont commit suicide, because frankly, even though i havent met you, I care. My email is listentomeforonce@aim.com and if you are in US i can give you my number. Im here if you need me okay?
Liz, I have read your story and I feel like we are in the exact same situation.. its scary actually how similar. I would love to talk to you any time over email, text or whatever works best for you. my email is lex4646@hotmail.com
Thanks a lot! I’m glad I found someone in this situation as well. I’m going to add you, thanks!
Thanks. I’ll defenitely add you 🙂