I feel so stupid. yesterday i didn’t go to school, and so i was in my room, and i lit my candle. A piece of paper fell into it and caught on fire. I not thinking, grabbed it and got out of my room. I ended up with 2nd degree burns on my thumb. I feel great. My bf was at school today to turn in his books and say goodbye. He really isn’t coming back and i told myself that im stupid for actually thinking that his sister was wrong and he was coming back.
I really just want to escape from all of this. It’s stressful and I told myself that no matter what, i wasn’t going back to cutting, and i mean it this time. obviously alcohol worked, but i wont become a drunk like some people i hang out with, its not worth it. I want to find something that will help me, because all i can think about is suicide, and what would work. i scare myself sometimes on what pops into my head.
(p.s. as Linkin Park says in Lost In The Echo, “Hold myself up and love my scars”)
2 comments
lonelyinside,
I’m sorry to hear your boyfriend is moving away.
I think you need to change something small in your life. Start a new hobby, cut your hair, redecorate your room. Anything really. The point is to keep yourself busy and distracted from the suicidal thoughts.
Hope this helps?
Actually I’m deciding on a hair cut and Im not one to really step outside my comfort zone and so my hair will be a big step for me and it’ll definitly be a distraction.