I was doing so well, people came to my rescue and encouraged me to stay strong, but of course I cut. Deeper than usually, and I cared far less. I had been clean for almost an entire month, but I felt no shame cutting. The blood wasn’t upsetting or anything. I really just want to do more.. I have no idea what to do.
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This is so depressing to read, I’ve made it about a week tops trying to quit. Oh, but good for you! Don’t worry about it, you have to phase out of it. If you cut everyday work on getting to where you cut every other day, then once every three days, then once a week, ect. If you can progress faster, great! Try it, see how it works for you.
Deeper than usual but I cared far less.
Wow. That hit me hard.
It describes me. I just cut about 30mins ago.
And they’re deep. But I barely noticed.
I just kept running the blade over my skin as I stared off into nothing.
It just goes hand in hand with something I wrote…
“You think your being strong
But it’s unintentional suicide
There’s no pills on your tongue
But it’s like you’re on anodyne
You think you’re getting better
But you don’t know if it still hurts
The ‘better’ you get the less that you feel
Is this the way we think we heal?”
@AscahlsBroken It breaks my heart that you agree with the horrible things I felt. That quote is beautiful, accurate, and sad. I don’t want you not to notice when you cut, infact I don’t want you to cut at all. Unfortunately, we have this burden, but we can make it through. If you ever need me I’m always here.
Please try hard to stop cutting yourself. It seems like you have to cut deeper and deeper to have any sort of affect anymore, and that is very worrying. Our bodies release natural painkillers when we are in pain and you will have to cut more to feel the same affect. So you have to quit now, before you cut too deep and cut an artery.
@Foreverdancing26,
Try to do things where you can express yourself with. Like boksing, punching a punchingball, running, hockey (hitting the ball with your stick), do creative things. Or dance, but I actually think you already do that, based on your nickname. Please correct me if I’m wrong about that and confirm me if I’m right. Please, try to keep the cutting limited and not cut more or deeper. And IF you want to stop, take small steps and remember that cutting NEEDS to be replaced, there have to be something different that replaces the cutting. I wish you luck and strength. Be strong <3
I do dance & it’s been my main escape forever, but at the time I cut dance was one of the reason I did b.c I’m a competitive dancer and sometimes it’s really stressful, but dance has kept me from cutting. I really want to replace cutting for good.
What kind of dance do you Foreverdancing26?? I also like to dance, but just for myself, not competitive. I have lessons and stuff, but I think I can never be a competitive dancer, because of all my physical disabilities. Keep dancing, it’s a beautiful way to express your feelings <3
@Engeltje Sorry, I just saw this. I do pretty much everything. Tap, Jazz, Contemporary, Ballet, Modern, Hip Hop, Acrobatics, ext. I think you could be a competitive dancer if you went for it, I believe in you. You’d be surprised how many competitive dancers have disabilities. Thank you, I hope you continue to dance as well.