Hi, I’ve been lurking around this site for the last few days . I keep returning to this site at random and I just don’t know why. I feel this need to help people because I can relate to their distress, but I just can’t bring myself to it because I’m just so afraid of saying something wrong and ruining their hope xs
I’m afraid of becoming obsessed with this place xs Is it wrong for me to stay here? All I want is another shot at trying to solve my mess and helping others seems to be quite an important part of it.
I’m afraid of becoming reliant  on  people I don’t even know because I’m so sick of losing people I care about.
My best friend has finally admitted that she doesn’t give me the attention I deserve, but just because she has a boyfriend I need to understand that there isn’t anymore place and time to help me xs I’m so sick of it just so fucking sick xs.
The saddest thing is that I called it half a year in advance. I’ve been warning her that she will eventually not see me as important anymore and will leave me alone. She kept saying she woudn’t and I actually believed her. Whatever I tried she just kept increasing her distance. I just don’t know what to do about it xs I can’t seem to change anything anymore, I feel like a useless piece of shit that will be alone forever xs
I’m just venting I guess, just ignore me like the rest of the world seems to xs
8 comments
it’s ok,everybody feel like this even i,and see i didn’t ignore you :p so can i have a smile :),life is cruel but in the depth of her cruelity we find people that care for our being and if this friend of yours forgot you because a boy don’t let that get you down cuz you’ll meet new people who will really care!!
The problem is, I get more and more afraid of new people after losing more and more people I trust. It sounds like bullshit but it gets me down xs
But thanks for not ignoring 🙂 (that’s your smile xd)
thnx for the smily,until now i’ve never had a true friend i can trust cuz am afraid of betrayl but i found someone even tough she is in another country she cares about me and never forget me,what am trying to say just try,open up a little for others and am sure you’ll find someone like i did!!
thank you, it’s nice to see someone who gets it 🙂 I constantly battle the fear of being betrayed 🙂 But it’s not as easy as it sounds which you probably know . I won’t give up, I promise 🙂 But I really wonder how , how do you find someone xd I’ve started emailing someone from here which is a start I guess, but I constantly ask myself if it’s worth the whole hope of getting helped because I would be broken even more.
I feel like I can relate a little bit. My best friend moved a few years ago, and she’s constantly busy. She’s unreliable, and I don’t trust anybody else. But in your case, you may find you’re a better friend than her boyfriend, so don’t give up yet. most boyfriends just pass through, but real friends don’t
That’s another part I just don’t get. She was happy around me, but now she’s just afraid that her boyfriend will leave her when she comes close to me because he’s the jealous type.. Also she is sadly not the kind of person to have a boyfriend every few months.. I mean it has been half a year she has been with him and in the beginning I heard lots of stuff I probably shouldn’t have about their relationship. I genuinly believe she’s better of with someone else, but you try telling that to a girl in love with someone xs
maybe she doesn’t see it now, but you can be the friend to pick her up if or when she gets her heart broken; and if you can’t, just lie down, listen for a while, and absorb a few tears
I’m afraid she’ll blame me when her relation breaks and won’t want to have anything to do with me xs doesn’t mean I’m smart enough to not try, I’ll try, fail and hate myself for it probably xs