I think everything about me went downhill when the person I was closest to decided to end their own life. Even though before this time I was still considering ending my pain, sometimes I stop and think when all of it got so extreme. I trace it all back to that phone call informing me of them being gone.
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I’m sorry to hear that your friend died of suicide, but that doesn’t have to be your fate as well. Do you have other friends who you are close to and can help you through this difficult time?
If you want people close to you to go through the same thing you have, then feel free to kill yourself. I’m truly sorry about your friend. I’ve lost lots of friends but none to suicide and know it is painful, but if everyone with a legitimate problem killed themselves no one good would be left. Do not help that to happen, things will get better.