last night in a desperate attempt at grasping what was left of my sanity i wrote another poem. I have not written in weeks which i find rather ironic because my screen name is the faceless poet. Last night in my desperation i came to an abrupt realization… No one gives a damn. I could write all the poems in the world and my status in life still will not change. Sure it is a way to vent, but maybe just for one day out of the rest of my life i would rather be content with the outcome of my day rather than having to vent to feel better. No amount of words, no amount of rhyming can change the fact that i am still faceless and forgettable even to the people who know me. I was hoping to get more readers when i first decided to go on this rant of mine, but now i dont really care. the more people that read wont change the fact im still depressed and want to end my life…
-TFP47
3 comments
I’m not depressed and I wanna end my life. I know this happiness is temporary, I try my best to hide all the things that have went on in my life, but that’s not helping. I’m 16, I haven’t even “lived” yet, but who caressssss. I’ma be a failure anyways, I failed the 9th grade 3 times in a row, and am still trying to pass it. Eff school, eff work, ima end up on the streets. Just saying, we gotcha back bro! Were all on the same ship 🙂
Yea I know. I write a lot of poems and songs, but it doesn’t change anything.
I’m only 15, and I have 19 full notebooks.
I can write forever, but even when I reach the final stanza…I still want to kill myself.
I can write songs about how great my life is compared to other people… I can write about how worse it could be… I could write about how fucked up I am.
But in the end, it still doesn’t make me care about anything. I still want to die.
I could post them here and get some encouraging comments. But it doesn’t make the suicidal thoughts disappear.
Even this comment doesn’t mean anything.
Even if it doesn’t help, I have to keep writing.
I have to.
The urge to write is almost as powerful as the urge to cut.
And I guess it must be helping a little bit….cause why else would I do it?
I just wish it would help me the way I want.
It’s always helpful to write down your thoughts in a poem or journal. It may not seem like it’s helping, but it you can go back and read them later and track your progress.