I guess I’m going to be a regular to this site now. Hello, whoever’s reading this. You’re pain has become my drug. Your pain is softer than my own. I found this site about a week ago, and I just keep coming back. During school at break, at work when I have a minute… and now, when I have to wake up early and go to school tomorrow. I lay in my bed, poised to hide my laptop should my parents walk down the hall. I am here once more. Reading, and commenting, and now posting.
You’re pain is distracting to me. I hope to do the same for you. Maybe if I can describe it as thouroughly as I can, it might lessen your pain. Here it comes, stronger now, I’ll be able to describe it better…
Ow.
It begins almost like intense heartburn. It changes, it moves backwards in my chest, it seeps, it spreads. Suddenly it gathers and stabs. It makes me nauseous. It makes tears flow. It jumps to encase my head as well, and the voices join in. Pounding slapping, cursing. I can’t think straight. Nausea. Stabbing. Duller, spreading, in my legs now. My legs shake. My feet go numb. My gut aches. Physical. All physical. Added to the emotional suffering. I can almost feel my chest being ripped open. I apologize for such a gory visualization…but that’s what it feels like. Always. It never stops, always changing. There is no way to escape it because it is constantly adapting. Pain. Horrible. Paralyzing. Pain.
7 comments
Want to exchange “war” stories?
Ah my friend, I’m afraid I have only watched battles through windows. My very first post was very long..it told my story. And established the sorry fact that, I am pathetic. There is no cause, no reason, only pain for me.
Now I want even more to exchange perspectives, though I’ll respect your wish if you’d rather not. You said in your post above, “You’re pain is distracting to me.” Indeed. I feel the same. I’m never happy someone else is in pain, but knowing I’m not alone in this icy hell brings me some solace.
Do you mind me asking if you’re over 18?
BestGore didn’t faze me. And your “gory visualization” did not either. If I described my [current] pain to you, it will make no sense whatsoever — my words will just fly past your head… :/
I hope those of us on SP aren’t competing with one another. Pain has always seemed relative to me, and something I wish we were all committed to minimizing in each other. I used to fantasize about a world in which the chief priority, along with survival, were mitigating pain–physical and emotional. I know that’s not the way the world works, but…
I’m sorry.
NothingAmI , I’d rather not disclose my age. But I am willing to comunicate through this site. I’m a rather paranid individual, so I’m trying to keep all this in one place.
Umbra_Uroboros & NothingAmI, I must agree that pain is relative. But that doesn’t mean that I might not understand your pain Umbra. Pain comes in many torturous forms. Yours very well not be something I’ve experienced. A world mitigating pain world be wonderful. But I see humans for what they are instictually. For their succes, but it’s rooted in unchangeable intincts. They will lot let their, or rather our world be run by peace. Though some try.