Will the doors of our perception ever be cleansed?
Hello, one and all. I am… A newbie poster. *confetti*
I hear things. I hear and see people that aren’t there when I double take or listen harder. When I search my home, no one but myself can be found. Some say it’s stress, some say it’s being tired… Some say I’m crazy.
I don’t know the cause or case, I just know it’s been happening my entire life. Some days I can block it all away. Some days I can’t. Some days what they say makes no sense, some days I find myself with a cord around my neck in my closet. And it’s not that […]
Despite still having this energy and whatnot, the voices and figures have made it impossible to do anything with it for the past few days – meaning I have been increasingly irritable and angry.
I haven’t gotten any work done because I can’t concentrate on anything, so the energy gets burnt off with arguments and fights with my stepdad (verbal and physical – my cheekbone is slightly bruised again, which was accidental, but I’ve covered it so no one knows anyway).
I saw my therapist on Friday and she’s happy with me – I didn’t tell her much, and my mum was going on about how ‘well […]
Every professional I have seen always ask if you hear voices and I’m not sure how to answer. What constitutes as a voice, I talk to my self in my head all day and sometimes I tell my self to do things I know are against everything I have been taught but yet I still do them. You go so long not doing drugs or drinking then one day you hit a new low and you end up buying the things you know will end up hurting you and others. They tell you not to leave your house even though you need to make money […]
Gah I’m so tired of them! All day all night my emotions change by the minute… I though I was getting better 🙁 But I seem to have only gotten worse. I just want to be strong for my loved ones (you guys are of course included) you know? I want you all to know that I am here to help, but if someone needs to lean on me for strength and I crumble… I couldn’t forgive myself. How do you deal with the voices in your head?
I would trade no ones shoes to swap suicidal scenarios. I can imagine they are all just as bad as each other. Mental pain, physical pain, no matter what it is. Torment and pain beyond what most of us are capable of handling. How did i get to this place and scenario. Anyone ever youtubed what its like being a schizophrenic.. Its fun for the first ten seconds or when youre on a high then its depressing, scary, obtrusive, crazy and intruding.
Im schizophrenic almost every second of the day and meds do jack shit unless you want to be zombified do you.. No.
Ive heard shit […]
Trembling, tumbling, turning
Down the spiral I go
All these feelings, no one will ever know
Who’s to say this gun won’t blow
Live a day through my eyes
See all the happy little lies
Paranoia sets in, creepy little spies
Voices in my head like pesky demon flies
I can’t escape these dark skies, for all I want is nothing but to die…
I don´t know how I ended up like this.
I feel like I don´t have anyone. Anyone I can hug or touch, just to feel the warmness of the body of someone else. Everybody leaves me. I can´t sleep at nights. I lay in my bed and listen how drops of rain are colliding with my window, thinking about all the people that left me behind continuing in their way and I stayed, like glued to the ground with no chance to move on. Someone would say I finally get used to people leaving me. But everytime it´s getting worse and worse. And I, like an […]
These voices are becoming too much to bare. I’ve heard voices all my life, but never to this extreme. I have counted as many as 20 voices all arguing with each other but agreeing over a mutual hatred of me. Telling me to kill myself. Telling me that I’m not worth it. Saying I’m waste of time/space/and money. Calling me a slut. Saying I deserved what those guys have done to me. Telling me not to as my crush out because he’ll just reject me, laugh in my face, and hurt me like everyone else. I fear they’re winning. Slowly driving me insane. I really […]
i know that my parents love me and want the best for me since I’m their only daughter but they don’t have to be rude about it. I stopped cutting 2 months ago after breaking a 3 year period because of my mother. She calls me a dumba** because i forgot to wear my brace while playing basketball with the guys at my school, I don’t understand since my doctor told me I didn’t need it anymore. Not only that but when I try to talk to her calmly she makes me cry and says “Don’t be a little bi*** stop crying, you know what […]
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
She means well. I know she does. But, it’s my family. I can take care of them, my way. I don’t need her so called “help.” Really, every thing is going just fine the way I am doing it. Why does she have to be all condescending and know-it-all under the pretense of “I’m just trying to help.”Â Did I ask for help? No. Do I need her help? No. She thinks I do. And in my mind, that is the same as stating for all to see that I’m a failure because I am not doing it the way she thinks I should.
Who is […]
This is my story or just a part of it.
I hope you can understand me because my english is too bad,but I need to talk (in a strange way) about it.
I want to die since I have ten years,and I’m nineteen.
Nine years spending my days thinking about my suicide, thinking why I’m still here,wondering why is so difficult for me to die when is too easy for people who,actually, don’t want to die.
self-harming, anorexia, bulimia, pills;also I tried to have an “accident” crossing the street.
And I’m still here,hating me.
My scars are going away, but the pain is here,inside.
I went to […]
i had to abandon my two best friends 4 months ago. we were three and we had that kind of friendship that we couldn’t stay all day without seeing each other. we were brothers.
my friendship had started with them and along with this friendship i started to do cocaine. we all did cocaine. we were three cokeheads. three junkies. but fuck! we were three mothercuking brothers, and that no one can deny.
but when i was with those brothers, i forget about my real ones. my real brothers. my brother, my sister and my parents. i forgot my family. i and i’m sorry for that, for […]
I am a slave to my feelings of you
Trapped inside myself
Iâ€™m drowning and lost, feel horribly used
I just canâ€™t break free.
I am a slave to the thoughts that you bring
Are we even real?
Confusing the truth with traitorous things
Why canâ€™t I break free?
I am a slave to the sound of your voice
Shivers down my spine
My head tells me no, my heart gives no choice
I can not be freed.
I am a slave to the beast in my head.
Evil filthy girl.
Cannot be stopped until all my bloodâ€™s shed.
She is my Master.
Sometimes I just try to be positive.
Igrew up in a- well, not poor, but not wealthy- family. So by the way every single problem was money.
Our father left us, I have a sister that has cerebral palsy,
and well there are maaaaany negative things in my life, i went through horrible stories in my life and things that i just heard out from my mom and everything
I don’t have real friends, I mean, no one tries to hear me, cause they think that im crazy, even my boyfriend sometimes he just doesnt want to hear me or something, i think he thinks that everything that is […]
In my world, I have to constantly remind myself what’s real and what isn’t, what’s a hallucination and what’s real, and what are rational thoughts and what aren’t. I’ll see a person as an entirely different things. For example, I know that person doesn’t actually look like a dragon, but I see them that way. Or I see a bunch of bees clouding the room, they aren’t actually there, it’s just sleep deprivation. But they seem so real, and no, it’s not “The voices in me head telling me that”. I’ve heard that saying far too often. I’m schizotypal, not schizophrenic. It drives me insane […]
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