I had this dream the other night. I can tell about it because it was quite detailed and made at least a little sense while most of my dreams don’t. Though I can’t fully figure it out, but I can link it to my daily fears. It will take Â some time to read, I tried to put it as close as I could.
The “action” took place in my home, that tiny apartment on the 5th floor that Â my parents own. Â I was home and they were at work as usual. Time around noon. I sat at our kitchen table watching some crap on my laptop. Don’t know what exactly it was, it didn’t seem important at that time. Â Then almost immediately I heard Â some movement outside the frontdoor to the apartment, like the lock being turned when the key is inserted. (When we all leave the apartment we usually use all the 4 locks, for protection. But when anyone stays in, only 2 locks are used.) So as soon as I heard the noise, it made me feel uneasy, because none of my parents would return so early and even if they did, they would ring the bell first or knock on the door.
So I turned Â to look at the door and listened more closely to make sure it was there. And indeed, the noise grew louder and louder as keys rattled. The weird clicks of the locks made me jump in fear as I understood someone was trying to get in uninvited. I instantly thought of a burglar breaking in and rushed to the door to get the other locks and hinder whoever was on the other side, but before I could reach it, in a matter of seconds, the door swung open and a stranger whose appearance I vaguely remember stepped in. He was obviously startled to see me. He didn’t say a word, and I was numb too as we stared at each other. Shocked, I didn’t know which way to turn or what to do. Then a thought flashed across my mind, that now he would possibly go for the safe, where we keep all our money and valuables. Surprisingly, but he seemed to catch this thought on the fly and glanced toward the safe, which was just a couple steps away from the door.
I panicked. I was so scared he would take all our money and possessions, and then when my parents come home from work they would go ballistic and accuse me of letting him do it. I felt I couldn’t just stand cowardly beside and watch him empty the safe. Somehow I thought calling the police would be unhelpful ’cause he would already have fled by the time they arrived. Otherwise, I couldn’t come up with anything wiser than grabbing a big knife out of the kitchen cabinet and proceeding to attack the burglar. I don’t remember what exactly and how I did, it was all too fast, but the knife never even scratched him. Instead, I ended up being stabbed in the side with that same knife.
I was astonished and disappointed at the same time, and in a lot of pain. As I slowly descended to the floor, I whispered to him that he may kill me, but please leave the safe alone. But he wasn’t listening. He was already by the safe preparing to crack it open. Everything started to fade when all of the sudden, a seemingly familiar figure came leisurely in through the opened door and stopped next to the burglar. That’s when all my feelings changed from despair to disgust, when I saw it was my father(!) He stood there over me not at all bothered neither by the presence Â of the burglar, Â nor by the site of me, half-alive.
As I staggered to my feet Â he looked at me, scornfully and disapprovingly, and muttered something about me failing some kind of test. That moment I realized I was dreaming. I looked at the safe, still intact, then back at the two people facing me. I wondered to myself, why the fuck?? And then I woke up.
The dream was at all short, but it was very vivid. Upon waking up I didn’t feel any guilt for failing to defend the safe, but rather intense loathing for my father for purposefully putting me through all this shit to test what, my loyalty? Â Well anyway, I’m not a watchdog.
Anyway, as soon as I rose from the bed, I automatically secured all the locks first thing. I knew this could never happen in reality. I mean, nobody would be able to get in so easily, and all the more I wouldn’t be so clumsy with knives were it to get that far. Yet that dream event kept me on the lookout for the rest of the day. I was thinking how far I could go at all if something unpredictable happened. Â And how I would then be judged for doing or not doing something.
I never get it why people like to judge so much. They literally need someone to judge. Why? To seem more intelligent, important, or to just “pass the time” finding fault with someone? It may or may not be useful if they Â took up judging themselves and not the others, at least they would shut up for some time.
I noticed that most of the symbols related to the self
Home â€“ aspects of the self, security, basic needs, values, each room representing a aspect of the self.
Kitchen â€“ warmth, nourishment
Key – question; a question opens that which is not known
Locked Door â€“ opportunities not available to you
Stranger â€“ a part of you that is repressed or hidden
Safe â€“ hiding, protecting, self worth, security, secrets
Police â€“ societal values
Knife â€“ To cut, to separated, aggression.
The dream suggests that your values beliefs dreams have not been differentiated from that of your family. You live not in your own home but you parents.
A kitchen suggests the question about what you are â€œeatingâ€ what is nourishing you? Is it junk food â€“â€œsome crap on your laptopâ€.
Not being able to rely on the police indicates that this is not about societal norms, structural.
You are intent on protecting yourself for a part of yourself that wantsâ€™ to be known, become conscious.
For some reason you seem to be locking away some better part of yourself, some value locked in a safe.
The stranger, currently unconscious part of you is saying itâ€™s time to open the safe.
When you attack the stranger you attack and wound yourself.
Something is threatening your current sense of self, your ego, as coming into your own values will require a metaphorical dying, a redefining of your self.
â€œUpon waking up I didnâ€™t feel any guilt for failing to defend the safe, but rather intense loathing for my father for purposefully putting me through all this shit to test what, my loyalty? Well anyway, Iâ€™m not a watchdog.â€
As we become adults there is a movement every child faces when they must take consciously accept, modify or turn away from the values of their parents. This can be very painful. It seems to me that you holding onto an inner anger at having to lock away and protect yourself from a part of yourself that may actually be a value to you.
â€œ I was thinking how far I could go at all if something unpredictable happened. And how I would then be judged for doing or not doing something.â€
The safe that is keeping you from this part of yourself that the stranger wants to open may be this worry, fear or concept you have about judgement.
â€œI never get it why people like to judge so much. They literally need someone to judge. Why? To seem more intelligent, important, or to just â€œpass the timeâ€ finding fault with someone? It may or may not be useful if they took up judging themselves and not the others, at least they would shut up for some time.â€
Itâ€™s likely youâ€™re projecting your concept of judgment onto others, spending your time thinking about what other people are or are not doing, keeping you on working on yourself.
Protections are like boomerangs, they always return to the person doing the protecting. You strike out at the stranger but end up stabbing yourself.
The dream may be suggesting itâ€™s time to integrate your shadow and take back your projections if you do you will open a safe that contains a part of yourself of great value.
That was a very vivid dream to say the least. I keep a 12 guage shotgun under my bed in the event of home invasion…
Dave_N, I envy you.