What to do at this point?

My sister Audrey had previously moved out…. When she moved out, she had moved in with my aunt, who had attacked me not once, but twice or thrice. The thing is, is that recently a lot of things has been happening..;; Let me sort of break it down for you guys.

My mother got into a relationship to this nice, mellow guy named Guille. His not bad or anything, and there’s nothing too wrong with him. But, I think my mother rushed into a relationship with him, my sister here moved in with my aunt, and I moved in with my mother and Guille in the beach; I’ve been living here and I had to change schools as well… In that school, I met Page. If you’ve read my previous intro, then you should know.. sigh… Uhm, Page and me sort of don’t talk anymore, she just uses me. I met/made some friends… Waldo tried committing suicide, which wasn’t really that bad.. He made a run for the balcony above my floor and tried to jump off. His parents stopped him, ever since then he hasn’t been the same and has treated EVERYONE crudely, the one who’s being effected by this the worst, is his best friend… Matthew only uses me so he can brag and be crude to me, as if I were his *****. His sister was recently hospitalized, she injured her neck and head..

…Sigh…

Cory, someone I love/like, tried committing suicide. He drank pills with alcohol, his mother found him not moving or breathing… Everyone freaked out… His stomach was pumped, he’s still alive…  Something that has hit me the hardest is that my awesome, uncle has passed away on December 25th in the morning from cancer, he was only 14.. And well, all I got for Christmas was a tablet.. Which I’m really grateful for.. My birthday is coming up and right now I’m just questioning if I’ll even be alive for it..

Uhm… Well, going on now. David and me simply don’t talk to anymore, now he just uses me… He screams at me and then comes crawling back to me, f or help and attention. Then he just leaves me, again… I’ve broken any romantic or sexual feeling towards him, he doesn’t deserve it…

My ex-girlfriend, Emily… Well, her boyfriend cheated on her, and she broke up with him. Then her father passed away; I feel really badly for her… She came up to me and asked me to be her Valentine, I’m not sure if she meant it or it was because she had no one else to go to and I was her rebound…

Moving on and on, my sister, she, moved back in with that and I was never happy over that fact, because she treats me badly and always pushes me away… I must admit, I put up a pretty upset front and I was harsh with her, because she’s always using my mom, treating her like shit and getting away with everything. We’re in a tight situation with economy and all she does is ask my mom for things… And my mom ALWAYS gets her things no matter what, so I get upset and tell her off or try/attempt to stop her;; She never listens and she thinks she’s Ms. Perfect, even though she’s a slut bag who always fucks up her life, with her terrible choice of decisions.

My friend had came to visit me, while his sister was in the hospital. I said something, and my sister started correcting me and attacking me, it was about the word ‘recent’, ever since she started college she thinks she knows EVERYTHING about the English language, which pisses me off. She started bothering me constantly about it, and I was still angry about all the shit she brought into my room, she brought so much crap it’s taking over my things and space and she has a stupid pizza box nailed to the wall. It angers me even more… I told her to stop, but she never listens. It seems to be always about her way and how she wants things. Never about how I feel or want things.. So, I got angry, and I knew I was going to hit her. I called my mother over and told her to tell my sister to knock it off or kick her out of my room. My mom only screamed at me, until she finally decided to kick my sister out of my room and into the couch.

My sister started insulting me from afar, telling me that I was just trying to show off. So, I snapped; I watched how I smashed my mother out of the way, I grabbed my sister by the hair and kneed her in the face. Because, I was sick and tired of her crap and honestly… I still want to finish beating her up… I’m still angry about all the shit she has caused…

But ever since my little outburst my mother has barely slept, and she’s forgetful. It has been 2-3 days, I suppose? And by each day going by, I honestly just don’t want to live with all these problems anymore, it’s like no matter what I say or do. Some how, even a ‘hello’, is going to RUIN my day/life.

I’m really worried about my mother passing away, as well…