A Fall

Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here
was very tough wasn’t it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the
elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I’ve
been looking down at this city. Don’t worry we can’t fall off from this ledge.
I’ve fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn’t be so bad anyway. I
didn’t mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here
exposed to the world. Here take my coat. Its a rather nice one isn’t it? I never
buy new anymore, I always thrift things like this, you see people are giving up
on things to quickly. Consumerism I suppose.
Oh, lets not talk politics, I
don’t really feel to safe talking about them anymore. People do not look on
happily when I get on about them. I do not think that many people agree with me
anymore. Look down there, how is your eyesight? Mine is awful, I can only see
blurs, I can imagine though. I imagine a scene on the street, I see a young man
walking home. He has had a few to drink. He walks down the street, and into an
alley. A man robs him, the robbery goes bad, and the poor kid is killed. He
bleeds to death in the street all alone. Shot dead for money. Why is money so
important? Would you kill for money?
Here, I brought up a bottle of wine for
us to share. Of course, you know me to well, it is a red table. I know you
prefer a blush, but I just can not get used to that sweet stuff. Look at these
beautiful wine glasses, my friend bought me them while she was on vacation to
Europe. Very fine glass. She was too kind. I really told her I could hardly
accept such a generous offer. I know you think this red wine is bitter, but give
it a chance, it will really warm you up. Take a seat, beside me as we look off
into the night.
The city is so bright, even so late at night. It blocks out
the stars. I believe they call it light pollution. Strange, even our light
pollutes. Is the world sick? I think it may be. We shouldn’t worry about that
too much, oh you’ve finished your glass, let me refill it. I can hear something.
Off in the distance, it is faint but beautiful. Somewhere, someone is trying to
find themselves. They are singing. Beautiful voice they have. What I would give
to have had a little musical talent. Did you know I had fantasies of being a
great artist when I was young? I used to dream of being a performer too. When we
were little it was easy to imagine big. Now my perspective shrinks every day.
Life is no longer the dream of extravagance. The biggest joy in my life is at
the bottle of that bottle. I finish a bottle and fall asleep.
I think I am
getting old. Life isn’t lovely, it isn’t joyous. I just struggle to etch out
enough to buy a bottle. I finish the bottle, and then, tomorrow it is all the
same. Don’t worry, my illusions of potential faded away along time ago. Is this
place that wonderful? I can imagine if I lived anywhere else I may have felt the
same. Disgusted, defeated, apathetic, and broken. I was broken before I was
born. You see, they have a policy in this country, if you are born poor, than
you are supposed to stay poor. I am destined to remain as much.
Being poor
has its advantages though. If they take everything from you it doesn’t amount to
much. They could take everything and I wouldn’t worry. So, I am here, with you,
and an empty bottle. Can I tell you about a dream I had? I dreamt that I had
fallen off a skyscraper. I fell hard and fast, but never reached the bottom.
Instead I would always just return to me beginning the climb all over again. It
confused me greatly. I hear that a person who dreams of falling believes that
their life is out of control. Is my life out of control? I left and looked for
this building. I found it and climbed to the top. I’ve been up here every night.

Can I ask you a question? If I fell, to far to try to climb again, would you
go on without me? I dreamt, and I also climbed these stairs too many times. How
many times can we climb these same stairs, how many falls before we can’t get up
again? If we both went crashing down what would happen? Maybe I’ve had to much
wine. Maybe I’m sick of the falls. When we were young did you imagine life would
involve so many struggles? Did your parents ever tell you that it might never
feel worth it, but you have to just keep on going for no other reason, than the
only way to stop is to die? No, I guess we aren’t told that, we are just told it
will be alright, and to keep working at it. I’m tired my friend, maybe its been
too many glasses of wine.
I’d get up but I don’t have the strength, what is
this? You’ll help me up? There are so many stairs, you would exhaust yourself
climbing down them with me? You are a friend indeed, let us leave, I understand
what my dream meant now, we only fall because we are alone, and sometimes
someone helping us along is enough to keep us on our feet, and if we both fall,
well than hopefully we can find more help. Maybe if everyone would just lookout
for each other, and help one another than this world could be a better place.