Cut for the first time

I hate myself, i guess that is apparent. I cut myself for the first time tonight… I like the pain, to see my own blood. It makes me feel more human, ya know? I just want to cut a bit deeper… A lil closer to that artery. Maybe I just might end it… But ifeel like i have a couple things to do before i die. maybe i might just have something to give. But i want to just rest. sit here and bleed.