i dont want to feel :(

Remember that you are NOT what happened to you. I know nothing will erase what happened. Nothing anyone says will make it hurt less. Whatever you went through was real, and the feelings you have are real. You are not the cause of what happened to you, and therefore, you cannot be blamed for what happened to you. What happened to you amy be dirty, unclean, etc. But YOU are not that act. Those terms belong to something and someone else. Not you. You are your own person, sperate from what happened to you. Put the blame elsewhere, not on yourself. I know that is easier said than done. What happened was not fair, was not right. No one deserves to feel the way you do. But, your life is worth living. It is special. Don’t give someone or something else the ability to make you think otherwise. You are still alive, and your future is still unwritten. Your story, your survival, your strength and ability to talk about it and let others know how you are felling. Those are things to be praised. Those are qualities many people lack. Hang in there! You are special!