Im sorry I can’t be perfect. I’m sorry I’m not happy. I’m sorry I was raped. I’m sorry I won’t eat. I’m sorry I cut. I’m sorry I won’t talk to anyone. I’m sorry I lie. I’m sorry you can’t tell I’m dying inside. I’m sorry I hide behind a smile.
It seems like it’s been that way for awhile now…me, hiding behind fake happiness. Trying to make everyone think I’m happy. But people have seen my cuts. People are starting to talk. They’re finding out, they’re gonna try to help me. I don’t want help.
So I’m really sorry.
I’m sorry I’m lost. I’m sorry I drown in my tears. I’m sorry he ruined me. I’m sorry I’m emotional. I’m sorry I don’t want help…but most of all..I’m sorry I’m still breathing.
3 comments
Oh my god honey, there’s no need to be sorry! ur perfect just the way you are!
reach out for someone or talk it out, i knw its hard! we can go through this together!
The title is very touching… it means a lot to me.
I drove into work today and it was a real struggle. I soooo wanted to simply steer the car into something and end it. I feel so dead inside. Then I read your post – and i feel like my issues are so trival compared to yours. And I do not say that to make light of your issues or your pain. It upsets me.
It upsets me because YOU did nothing wrong. He did. One thing I simply can not stomach about this world is the injustice…. that SOB deserves a painful death. You deserve compassion and understanding and patience. I know I can not say any magic words to make you suddenly realize that you are the victim and did nothing wrong – he did. It is my pray for you to somehow find some strength to now FIGHT BACK. Dont let that butthole win *again*. Beat him. Do not empower his evil by destroying you. Prove to him that you are stronger that you are better that you reject the evil he tried to kill you with. You will survive – that is your ultimate power over him.
Keep fighting. Whoever you are. To ALL of you who have had this god-awful thing happen to you (and I know there are a bunch here)… You are not the problem. The attacker is.
Please stay strong. We love you.
Signed,
A freak