It still applies months later.. I can’t ever be right.

I can’t  cry. I can’t read. I can’t write. I can only think. What am I? A mute? A social deficit defiling the medium? I don’t want to talk about it, because then it doesn’t mean as much. I can only keep myself moving.. barely. Going through the motions. Why must the motions take so much away from everyone around me? Why must I have problems with eatting? Why can’t I be beautiful and healthy? Why is there no normal to be attained? I even put on our song to evoke the rolling storm, but the tears never came. They did the exact opposite actually. I got in trouble for going on here.. Honestly, what the hell? What do you want me to do? Go on facebook? Check my email? Edit my fucking photos? Suck the world day in and day out? How much happiness must I show upon my retched face? It isn’t for how long.. it has to be an all day event… doesn’t it?? DOESN’T IT? Why must people watch our sorrows? How can I tell them that they’re too late? Oh wait, because you make FUN of me before my words have chance to be spoken. If my thoughts could have babies, they’d come out dead. Dead. Cause my brain isn’t getting enough air. I don’t like the sound of where our roads are taking us. Of where we are taking us. Of where I’m taking us. Of where you’re letting us go? You say I always question it and us and it’s degrading and embarrassing and horrible and ridiculous . Well, it’s sad to know what you need day in and day out, but never know what to do with me. There is no “us”. There is no us. There is me and there is you. May I say this without being pummeled?