Reality Update

I wonder what % of people who post on here that they are suicidal actually go ahead and do the deed.  Mine is happening tomorrow (possibly even tonight). The reality post which I put up earlier is all accurate but it was written 4 weeks ago. Since then I have literally been living on the streets. When I was smartish and clean to start with I blagged a few nights in various cheap hotels saying I would pay the next day (they would require my passport but the next day I would explain that I couldn’t get money from bank without it). A guy I played chess with a few times on the internet, but had never met, took pity and sent me 300 dollars. A guy I met in a bar (an investment banker) incredibly paid an outstanding hotel bill where they hadn’t released my passport and put me up in a room in a better hotel for the night. But I have been living rough for some time now and I can’t take anymore. I have had the same clothes on for 2 weeks. I stink. I haven’t eaten at all for 3 days and nothing but soup for 2 weeks or so. I haven’t slept at all for three nights. Not one of my so called friends here has offered me even a floor to sleep on for a single night. Bars where I used to get something of a welcome even long after I had  paid a bill have got wise and it is increasingly difficult to get even a single beer. So that really is all I can take. You might read about if you scan the international news other stories (Bulgaria). My name is, of course, not Adam.