There’s a light. The other way. (Don’t read it. Banal stuff)

Hi people out there.

I read some of your stories – and I do find some of them similar to mine. I’m so weak sometimes, so sensitive and lazy to cope with real life. With that awful life out in the big world, all it’s demands, all that efforts we have to make to indulge it and what it wants from us really isn’t little.

Life wants from us to be normal. To be like anyone else. But sometimes, we just can’t.  Know why? Because we are all so different. Any of us. Any of the other people too who pretend to be normal… All that people we’ve all tried to be like but didn’t succeeded.

Hey,  friedns, I do know how you feel. I know that you want to escape but can’t… We all feel like ghosts in that moments, stuck between life and dead and we don’t know how to continue, it all seems so difficult, so unbearable… You hate yourselves for being who you are, for doing what you’ve done, for wasting all that time… For not being able to win that battle with life and other’s expectations.

I have felt so miserable myself, I’ve hated myself for a long, long time. But you know what? I have also felt strong and able to do what I want to, able to get back to life, able to cope. The same me, that suffered. I! One of you!

Because… you know what… I’m life. Life is nothing without me. It’s me who gives it its colour, it’s me who makes it alive. Not the opposite. Believe me. You all are living creatures, giffted with free will, giffted with freedom, giffted with LIFE.

I really know how you feel. But you should carry that burden to the end, you should resist, because all of you are strong, stronger that you think. I swear I’m telling you the truth.

You aren’t responsible to your friends and family as much as you are to yourself. It’s not their support you wish to be given, it’s your own one, lads! No one can do it for you. No one can help you continue living but yourself. No one can do it as good as you can!! Because whatever we receive from others, it will be something outside, alien if you prefer so. But do believe me, there is one person on this planet that would do ANYTHING to take you back, ANYTHING to give you support, to give you help, one person that really loves you and can’t live without you. There’s no one else on the planet that can live your life the way you want it, the way you can make it be, no one can love the way you do, sing the way you do, look the way you do, be who you are, enjoy living the way you do, breath, see, feel, hear the way you do it… YOU are the most prescious gift you’ve been ever given. Believe me! You are life!

Suicide is a door above which is written with bright shining green light ESCAPE. But it’s a fake. Suicide isn’t the exit. Suicide is a murder. A crime against life, against yourself, against your love and your desires and your hope. Do you know why you all feel so lost and so miserable and so inefficient, so suffering? Because you are betraving that thing you all carry inside you, your true gift, your most precious possesion. You are saying NO to the one inside you who wants to live. Life may be heavy. Imagine it being just a trip, out there, in the stormy sea. You and I are in this stormy sea, fighting with the great and rude waves that beat us on our faces, sink us under the bad-tasting water, mocking at us. But you know what? The sea is nothing. It’s just a way, a way to be gone, nothing, nothing than that. A way to be CROSSED. It’s not everything. I believe, somewhere behind this sea, we all shall find a land. When you suicide, you send yourselves to the bottom all by yourselves, you help the bad things (the waves) that try to sink you. You are not doing good. You’re helping no one, really, that’s exactly what I mean. No one. And you know what? When you do suicide, you’re wasting all the chances EVER to reach the land, EVER to feel better, EVER to escape, ever to breathe freely, ever to live as you want, ever to be happy, ever to be loved, ever to love, ever to be part of life… I don’t talk nonsense. I do talk what I want to say. What I want you to see. Because… hey, guys, little and big ones, girls and boys, fat and skinny, blond and black, and bruinette, and ginger, and green-haired, and so on, and bad or good-looking, all of you out there… People. Kids. Lovers. Dreamers. Writers. Whatever. All of you that feel uneasy, wrong or unhappy… To be alive is to be light. That means – to shine. You may feel you are ugly. What the fuck? Do trees eat their trunk because their branches don’t look the same as it’s neigbour’s? Ridiculous. Do beavers kill themselves, jumping in the stream, because they’ve got big theeth? Can’t imagine it… I’ll stop here. Hey, I do understand your reasons may be not so stupid ones, even not so definite… Whatever the reason, suicide isn’t “The way out”. It’s the way down! It’s what you are afraid of, what makes you feel so miserably – the very thought that you have dissapointed yourselves, you have crushed your dreams. But, hey, lads, you are still here! YOU are the change you need… You are all you need. Being alive. Getting out of that trap, of that hole, of that thought… The life is just a sea we’re all crossing. It may be calm. I may want to kill you. But don’t do it by yourselves! It’s not what you need. It won’t get you anywhere.  It’s a deflated parachute. It’s not what will HELP.

You hold your life in your hands. Don’t kill it. Keep it. Keep going. And then, one day, we’ll reach that land, where we’ll find rest and peace. But we can never go there by commiting a crime…

Guys… Believe me, you love yourselves. And I do. You’re stronger that you can imagine. You can resist living. You can…

Life is a school. There’s no hell and no heaven after life. Hevean and hell are here. We learn our lessons down in hell. Then we’re rewarded up in heaven…

Believe me.

‘No one said it will be easy. They only said it will be worth it.’ Believe me and one day we’ll be there. Just keep going.