All of me

It feels like I died and no one told me. As if a cog imploded and I in my sweet ignorance just continued on my merry way. It hurts with and without the medication. There is no relief. How do people even do this. I rally and step forward only to lose the strength to stand. Am I someone’s idea of amusement, perhaps? A failed experiment of some kind, decaying ever so slightly. Nothing a little spit won’t fix. I’m tired. So tired now. Have I paid my dues yet? I’ve lived enough. Let it end… Please.